Like A Drug ✔️

Chapter 8

{EDITED}
TW: Sexual activity (foreplay), mentioning of symptoms of an eating disorder, body shaming

Maddison Brooks

My body was telling me to stop, but I didn't. I continued to move my body with the loud music that made the walls shake of the intensity the speakers gave out. Cameron watched my every move, the slower parts when I managed to look at my instructor; he looked very concerned which made me push even further even if I already was on the edge of passing out.

The music was pushed on pause by Cameron who now had his hands on his hips, ready to comment on something that I needed to improve for the next session. It could be something small but it also could be something that could take days to learn.

I panted through my mouth, my hands on my knees; holding me up even if my body begged me to lay down. Cameron didn't say anything until I had stood up straight and ready for the part where I needed to improve. "You are back in your old habits." Cameron pronounced, I shook my head; I wasn't drowning in them yet. I had only dipped my toes in the water. "Maddison har you sure you are ok?"

Taking a deep breath through my nose, filling my lungs with the heavy air. "I'm fine." White dots danced in front of my eyes, my ears had gone under water; only the buzzing of my own brain and mumble of Cameron speaking got through. "I'll just sit down for a while."

Leaning against the bare wall behind me before I sunk down to the floor. My mouth was dry and I hadn't taken any water with me out here, my head buzzed as dizziness took away my vision. Feeling Camerons cold but sweaty hands grabbed my shoulders and forced me to let down on the floor and lifted my legs up on the wall so blood rushed to my buzzing head while the world went quiet.

As I slowly became conscious, I was alone with only the mirror image of myself. My breathing slowed when I looked up on the white plain ceiling above me. I totally fucked up. Dipping your toes can do more damage than you think, only dipping them can lead you out into the depth of the sea until a wave forces over you. Either it pushes you back safely or it will drown you to the bottom of the sea.

At this point I was already below the surface.

I heard the door open, a light breeze cooled down my damp skin when I tilted my head towards the door. My brother hurried to my side before his hands grabbed the sides of my face before he lightly shook it and observed me. "I'm fine, I'm fine." I lied straight into my brother's face.

A bottle of water pressed against my lips, forcing me to take the cold water down my dry throat. Focusing on not to choke as I took small sips after each other while my head was too heavy to lift from the floor. The tight fabric wrapping around my cramping waist made it hard to breathe when I filled my empty stomach with water.
Drops of water fell down on the loose T-shirt when I turned my head away from the bottle, not giving Cameron a chance to move it away before I turned.

Cameron let out a deep breath before he spoke,"Maddison you should go and rest. Get yourself in the right mindset so we can work without spending time on things that won't work in the long run." He laid a soothing hand on the bare skin on my thigh.

"I'll be fine tomorrow." I looked at my coach with a small smile on my lips, trying to show I would be ready to try again tomorrow even if I would end up passing out again. I was ready to take the risk if it could make me reach the goal I have had for all years since I did my first dance move.