Loosely Knotted [2/2] [✔]

Forty Five

Derek's POV

I was called in for an emergency consult at 5 this morning which made me incredibly nervous as I was due to be picking up Meredith at 8 as that was when her 72 hours were up. The guy appeared fine, his neuro obs all checked out well so I wasn't overly concerned. I handed over to the other neuro attending everything I needed to say but as I was walking up to the seventh floor, I saw somebody collapse in the waiting room. I knew I couldn't just leave them there, so I got them and did some of the initial work up until someone was able to take over from me.

I finally made it up to the ward where Meredith has just been spending the last few days and the nurse at the desk decided to tell me that it was too early to pick her up. It was the same goddamn nurse as the other day who was rude when I dropped her off here. I really hope Meredith hasn't had to deal with her too much..

After a bit of arguing, and a slight threat of a formal complaint she told me Meredith's room number so I walked over and I saw Meredith pacing back and forth. 

I can't believe it. I thought she was serious about getting herself back.

"Exercising? Really, Meredith?"

Whoa, I heard my tone of voice and even I was shocked by how harsh I sounded. 

Meredith tells me how she was only pacing because she was nervous that I wouldn't turn up. I'm slightly hurt that she would think that. I've only ever tried to help her and she still jumps to that conclusion. We grab her stuff and walk out back to my car. I explained to Bailey that I'd need the day off as Meredith was leaving the ward today and thankfully, she agreed.

"I, um, have, um.." Meredith coughs a little and looks out the window.

"Hm?" I want to prompt her to continue without interrupting her thought process.

"I have an appointment with Dr Wyatt later.." Her voice trails off.

"Okay, that's fine. What time?"

"1. Can you come with me?"

"Well, yeah. I don't want you driving just yet, not that I don't trust you or that you're not allowed. I just want to help, I guess."

"No, wait, not like that. I mean, yes, thanks for the lift. But I meant, could you, um actually come in with me? I want you in there?"

Oh, she wants me to have an appointment WITH her. I would never of guessed that's what she would of wanted but now that's been brought up, I think it would actually be so useful for both of us. I turn to face Meredith and smile to show her my agreement with her request which was matched with her own smile. It looked genuine.

Maybe, the last few days really was turning point for Meredith.

As much as I want to believe that, I still have this nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me otherwise..

When we pulled up to our house, we walked in and Meredith paled a little bit.

"Mer? What's the matter?"

Her back was pressed firmly against our front door, her feet was practically concreted into the floor. Her eyes locked into place, one place. One room. The kitchen.

"I remember."

"What?" Praying that she doesn't mean that she remembers the night that caused the suicide watch, but following where her eyes are I'm sure she does.

She remains in place and tells me everything. What Wilson said in the OR, what Bailey said when she came in and took over and then everything that had happened when she was home alone; from the tequila, the memories of her mother and our recent loss, it all came flooding back. With painfully accurate detail. Maybe it was being back here, sober, brought the memory back to her. Regrettably.

I knew Meredith wasn't sleeping before, I should of been checking the packet to see if she was using the sleeping tablets Dr Wyatt prescribed. Or, maybe I should of made sure there was no alcohol in the house. Maybe, I shouldn't of left her to be home alone. It was her first day of trying recovery again, obviously her emotions would of been heightened. They was high when I saw her at lunch. I'm such an idiot. Hindsight is wonderful, isn't it?

I couldn't do anything to help her, I'd do anything to trade places with her if I could. I just stand next to her and hug her, I coax her down so we're sat down in front of the door with my arms around her shoulders. I'm kissing her hair while she's whimpering into my neck.

Sorry for the shorter chapter but I the next chapter will be focused around the appointment. I hope you liked this chapter x