You're dead to me

Chapter three: Numb

Giovannis POV:

My father, Rocco De' Bardi, waits outside out of our mansion. He eyes his Rolex with concern and tips his foot impatiently on the ground.

I sigh and follow my two younger brothers outside.

"Do I need to wait forever, for you all to finally be ready?". He mocks us with his dark black eyes and gets into the car.

My brothers; Alessandro and Francesco, drive with mother, while I need to catch a ride with father.

I open the door and slip into the seat next to my father. 

His grey hair matches his dark blue, white striped suit. He's very thin and fragile for his fifty years.

Me and my brothers are more mothers side.

All broad shoulders, veiny arms and sharped cheek bones. We look like triplets, which we are not.

I'm the oldest with my twenty five years, after me follows Francesco, he's twenty four and Alessandro is the youngest among us, twenty two.

De' Bardi's have all black hair and black eyes, nothing special, pretty normal and unspectacular, if you ask me.

Since I'm the upcoming heir in the family, I have to act more business alike. The facade that I have to uphold every time, is so exhausting, that sometimes it seems it'll stick with me forever.

I don't know how my parents act like a marriage with the enemy would be such an easy arrangement.

I never even had a steady relationship in my life, nor someone I could call more as a friend. The only things, that I have, are one night stands, that's it!

I entangle my fingers together and keep my mouth shut. "You know that this arrangement is a very big deal to our family". Oh, so it is something big for him.

I nod and look out of the window, I didn't want to look him in the eyes, because I couldn't compete with his gaze on me.

"Son". My father says cold. He never really been a father figure to me, more like a boss. My childhood has been nothing except  darkness and cold heartless punishment. He rules everything in my life and now I can count a marriage to it.

"Yes?". I force myself to look in his direction. He studies my face, as he would see me for the last time.

"I know it would be hard to be with one of the Matisse daughters, but I wouldn't have faith in you, if I wouldn't think you're the best man for it".

Deal, I snort. For him is everything business, deals or arrangements. Nothing has to do with emotions or feelings. I have to act cold in his presence and that's why I turn to ice every time it comes to any kind of emotional exchange.

I was once such a sunshine for my mother, until this monster next to me, decided to make out of a nine year old, a man.

Too early, everything in my life got cut off by him way too early.

I wasn't a child, had no long lasting childhood and the price was the mafia. It was always about the mafia.

"I get it, I'm not more to you than a fucking deal". I know better than to raise my voice at my father, but this is the last thing I can hold in.

"Giovanni!". His voice roars in my ears, the driver flinches and slows down.

"I'm your father and if you're not capable of following my instructions, than you're not worthy to get called my first born!". I clench my teeth together, until I can hear them squeak.

"I apologize, I know how much trust you have in me, I won't disappoint you father". With that I shut up and don't dare to speak up again for the ride.

***

We arrived at our destination. I climb out of the car and let me have a first sight at the mansion. It's beautiful built and colored in beige and cream colors.

I guess Miss Matisse has more saying about their house than Don Matisse. Alessandro approaches me and punches me on the shoulder.

"Don't look like a pickle, smile a bit, I'm sure Caroline would appreciate that". He snickers to himself and then follows my parents up to the front door.

I stay back and don't move. Francesco turns around and jerks his head towards the house. I sigh and put on my mask.

I have to get this over with and then I can move on with my life. I don't need to love her or even give her any of my attention.

This is arranged, I remind myself and take the first step into the enemies house.

This nothing than a fucking business deal.