You're dead to me

Chapter two: Disbelief

I rip off my dress and throw it onto the wall. Like a maniac, I storm through every room and grab my shit together.

Right then my stomach turns over and I run towards the bathroom. I reach the toilet just in time and throw up everything my body has received in the last twenty four hours.

With shaky fingers, I clutch my head and steady it on my shoulders. My lips are trembling and I feel heat go up to my ears.

I get up, wash my mouth out with soap and splash a handful of water in my face. By this time, I don't care about my smashed make up, I just won't accept the fact that I get thrown out by my own family.

I leave the bathroom and notice that my mother has brought up all of my suitcases.

That brings my tears to overflow and I sob, until I can't stand it anymore. My knees buckle and I throw myself against my bed and burry my head into my arms.

I'm such a mistake!

Why would he ever do this to me? Why my own father?

After everything I have went through for this bastard. I took in so much pain and ruled his business better than everyone ever could. The salty tears stain my cheeks and I hate the dryness that comes with it. I wipe the wetness from my face, down to my neck and weep myself into my misery.

***

Someone knocks on my door thirty minutes later. "Come in". I cover up my red face and see my sister walk in.

She's wearing a white suit, which means, she just came from a meeting. Her black hair is pulled back into a sleeked bun.

"Why do you look so fragile?".

She comes towards me and instead of lifting me up from the ground, she drops down next to me.

"Haven't you heard the news?". I sniff, only in her presence I allow myself to be weak.

She sighs and nods. "I've heard it, won't you tell me what happened?". She strokes my naked arm and makes me feel like a ten year old again.

I'm nineteen and will turn twenty in a few months. She is four years older than me and the only person I truly trust.

"What should I tell you? That I have been just abandoned from my own father, because I have made one mistake too much?". She shakes her head and leans forward to kiss my forehead.

"Caroline, you have to obey. Do you think, I would have gotten so far, if I hadn't obeyed father?". Theresia is right. She owns her own brand and marketing company.

She accomplished so much with her twenty four years. She never had blood on her fingers and never been a victim in anything. That's why she turned her back at our families dynasty.

She didn't wanted to be a part of the mafia, instead, she wanted to make her own name popular, in a way nobody has to expect threats.

"I know Giovanni and I know the De' Bardi's. They might be our enemy's, until you both will get married, but they are good people. Trust me, don't be so hard on yourself".

I lean my head against her shoulder and she calms me down with one of her stories, she always told me as a kid.

To be the only daughters of a mafia leader isn't always so glamorous like everyone else think it is. You either way have to be the pride and joy of your parents and live with the ugly truth or you make your own way through it.

Since Theresia discovered her hate against the mafia, I had to be the heir. Fathers only choice to breed the next generation. And now my job is to make our mafias into one and stop the rivalry between them.

I huff and circle one of her golden rings. "Do you think I have to get pregnant to fulfill fathers wishes?".

She stiffens and I know the answer already, but it just feels so surreal.

"I don't want to marry and I don't want to have kids". I say with a broken voice. I never wanted something to do with love. Love makes you weak and stupid, delusional almost.

My expectations were only to be a good heir and someday to take over the mafia and be the first and only mafia queen in Italy.

I guess there is only one escape to this nightmare, I have to kill my way through my dream. And that means; make him hate you and then like nothing happens...kill him!