Love Me Not ✔

Chapter 4

"Why do bad things happen to good people? It's truly something so meaningless that happens on earth. Good people get what the wicked deserve and sometimes the wicked get what the good deserve."

I curl my hands into fists.

"It makes no sense. It shouldn't be that way."

You don't know what to say so you just read my thoughts further.

"Here's the thing about people with good hearts. They give excuses when we don't explain ourselves. They accept apologies we don't give. They see the best in us when we don't even need them to. At our worst they lift us up. They make time even when we don't. And yet the worst things happen to them!?"

I become so angry. Angry at how life works. So I do what the author told me to do in the past. I count.

"1...2...3...4...5"

You look at me and I'm caught in your gaze, like a dear caught in headlights. You look as beautiful as always. I feel a small sensation in my chest. One that I can't fully explain. So I ignore it and avert my eyes.

"Does it not bother you? Has nothing bad ever happened to you?"

A thought crosses your mind but I'm unable to read it.

"I do not wish to upset you. I only want to understand."

I look up at you. You continue reading, again not sure what to say. I stare at you completely mesmerized. I wish I could hear your voice. I would love it even if it was that of a raspy old man. Hopefully it would not be the latter.

"I have started to realize something. You are the only source of life for me. If you stop reading, I lose my purpose. If you stop reading, I cease to exist. You give me life and for that I could not be more grateful."

You smile. Not a reassuring smile and definitely not a fake smile. You smile at me because finally you feel like you have meaning. Like you mean something to someone. Even if that someone is and never will be real.

I stare back at you but I am unable to smile. For I know that one day you will not need me anymore. You'll stop reading and move on to the next book.

I get up from the bench and wave goodbye, not able to hold our conversation any longer.