Renée

Chapter 9

First, the blast of an explosion. Then the burst of another. The explosions reverberate through the plane, making me, along with all the passengers, flinch in fear.

I glance over two seats and see Gwen unconscious again. She's motionless as Shaun checks to see if she's breathing. He looks back at me and grabs my hands. "She's still breathing!"

But I already knew that.

I watch the plane roll again. I watch the baggage fall out of the overhead bins again. I watch a suitcase hit Shaun on the back of his head again. I'm seeing it all again, and I know exactly what is about to happen next.

Shaun pulls me close and yells in my ear. "I'm in love with you!" And then the plane flips upside down. I listen to the deafening shrieks and tears as the plane plummets towards the ground from 35,000 feet. The screams. The crying. The torture.

I hear the plane slam into the ground as my eyes dart open. My breaths are heavy. My heart is racing. I stare at the canopy of Renée's bed with wide eyes. I'm alive.

But I'm not alive.

I slowly sit up so that the blankets are only covering my legs and rest my arms on my knees. I rub my hands over my face, sweat and tears covering every inch of my skin. "Shit. When will this be over?"

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD. When I was training as a lifeguard, they taught me about that and Critical Incident Stress, or CIS. In my two years as a lifeguard, I never experienced either. I've rescued people and provided CPR, but it has never put me in such a terrible state. CIS usually lasts between two to four weeks, while PTSD usually lasts over four. The question is, which one am I experiencing, and how can I help myself heal?

A plane crash is a traumatic event. I know it's going to affect me for a while, maybe even my entire life. But I just want this to be over. I'm sick of waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes screaming, but always covered in tears and sweat.

I don't want this anymore.

The large double doors creak open. I glance over to see Maryanne enter the room as quietly as she can. "Lady Renée, it's time to awaken and begin your day." She walks over to the curtains and pulls them open.

"Good morning, Maryanne," I say, as I rest my head on my knees.

She spins around, her eyes slightly wide. "You're already awake."

"I am."

She walks over to the bed, her eyes widening when she sees my face. "My goodness. Your eyes are bloodshot and swollen again."

I chuckle. "Yeah. They don't feel all that nice."

"And you're covered in sweat. I thought your fever broke last night." She reaches her hand to my forehead. "Did it return?"

"It's fine. I had a bad dream, no... it was more like a nightmare. It freaked me out a little."

"It freaked you out?" A confused expression covers her face.

"It scared me."

"I see," she says as she lowers her hand. "It doesn't seem like your temperature rose again." A smile covers her face as she turns. "Please wait a moment." She rushes into the bathroom and re-emerges with a large bowl. "Lie back on your bed and I'll place this over your eyes. It will help with the swelling."

"Will it?"

She sets the bowl on the nightstand beside the bed before dunking the cloth in the water. "It will."

"And what if I fall asleep?"

"If that's the case, I will wake you up again."

"I see." I sigh as I lay back on the bed.