Colliding with Malfoy

Part 35

I woke up and Draco was still sound asleep I'm not sure what time it was. I looked at my watch to see it was 7 am so that explains why I am still exhausted. I sat up and when I looked around at the messy pallet and my pile of clothes realization hit me. I just let lost my virginity to Draco Malfoy, than I sat with my thoughts even longer. How'd I let this happen, after everything that happened last night. I can't believe... I didn't even talk to him about what happened. I feel like I just used him to distract me from everything that was going on. I got up quietly and got myself dressed and laid his shirt beside him, he was sleeping so hard he was snoring. I covered him up with a blanket. He had his bag in the room with him so I searched for a piece of parchment paper and left him a note. "I'll catch up with you sometime today, I went back to my dorm. Love you, - k" I left the note on top of his shirt. I didn't want him thinking I was leaving because of him. I left the room of requirement to go to the dorms and shower. No one was awake yet I'm assuming cause we didn't have classes today. I got my stuff to shower when I got to my dorm and headed towards the showers. As I got undressed I looked at myself in a mirror, I was fully exposed like this to Draco just a few hours ago. I still can't believe it happened. I stepped into the shower, but my thoughts would not leave my head. I kept over thinking. "You really did that? You loose your god father, and go through a traumatic event and instead of talking about it was Draco to cope you just decide to have sex with him." This is all I kept thinking. Than I started to cry, a lot. I didn't regret having sex with him it was amazing I was just feeling so many emotions last night and I wanted to forget. Draco definitely helped me forget but only for a few hours. I feel like it was the wrong time to let something like this happen. I also had not even told Draco what had happened last night. I felt like such a wreak right now, I didn't even feel like myself things were about to get worse especially since everyone knows Voldemort's back now. I shouldn't feel guilty for my moment of lust and excitement but I do. I cleaned myself up and quickly got out of the shower. I got dressed and looked in the mirror at how exhausted I still looked and I most definitely felt that way. I made way back to the dorm rooms and as soon as I put my stuff away and laid down I fell asleep in seconds.

I woke up to Harry sitting on the edge of my bed. No one else was in the dormitory but us. "You scared me," I said because I didn't expect to wake up to him sitting on my bed. "I came to see you last night or I guess technically this morning but you were gone..." he said. "I'm sorry I couldn't sleep so I had just went up to the owl tower for a while." He sighed. "I couldn't sleep either, I just needed someone to be with I was hoping you'd be here or something." now I felt awful again. I was too busy getting tangled up with Draco and my brother was upset and needed me. I was trying to not let my guilt get too me right now. "I wish I would have known I would have came back sooner," I added. He nodded. "It's fine, I just feel like this summer is to be weird...." He said. I nodded. "I was hoping we'd actually get to stay with Sirius...." I sighed. I didn't want to cry right now because I knew Harry may cry. "Me too, trust me." He rubbed his forehead in frustration. "We only have one week left here before summer, I'm just glad Dumbledore is back." I nodded. "Me too, this place was awful without him, this place was awful all year." I was glad Umbridge was gone I was hoping she was never found. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay, this has been rough 24 hours. We may have lost him but we can't dwell on that forever he would want us to continue focusing on what's going on and prepare for this war coming." Harry said. "I'm fine and I know, I'm going to be heart broken of course but I know we still have a lot ahead of us things aren't going to be getting easier anytime soon." He stood up from my bed. "I'm gonna go hand out with some friends you can join if you want." He added. "Okay," I said and he left the dorms. He was trying to hide his pain right now but I could see right through him. I got up and decided to make myself presentable. After getting dressed and putting my hair up I left the forms. We didn't have class this week I think with everything going on, we may not even be having a full week. Once the news comes out of Voldemort's return parents will probably want their kids home sooner. As I walked down the stairs I noticed students holding papers already. You mean to tell me the news is ALREADY out? Everyone knows. I could hear whispers about "you know who" all throughout the hall and where everyone was hanging out. I didn't expect it to get out this fast but it does make sense the ministry is probably scared. I was trying to make my way to the library I just felt like reading my book in hopes it would take my mind off things. I wanted to make sense of the whole ring thing anyways. Once I got to the library no one was in there which was a good thing for me. I liked it when no one was here so I sat down in the back, on a table near between some shelf's so maybe no one could find me for a while.