The Changes In Our Moments

•chapter 21•

My tongue tastes like silk, if that honestly had a taste.
I walk downstairs to get coffee, as Camden is in the same position from before.
"Ready for the funeral today?" He asks me, barley turning his head to me.
I laugh shaking my head, "im going to drown in not only my tears but everyone else's." I swallow my breath, "not to mention, most of the town is coming. Barely anyone knew Johnny."
I look at Camden who is still listening, "my mom deserved so much, but she didn't even get a funeral."
I wipe away my tears.
"Might want to get to work, I'm going to get ready." I nod my head walking towards the showers.
I massage my scalp, after stepping in.
I hose myself down, after putting body wash on and I scrub my face clean.
I step out changing into a black dress, with a white line going over my shoulder areas and around my neck line.
I have hallow, black, flats with my hair curled with a Bret bulling it back.
I head outside with Giavanna, riding in her car.
She eyes me throughout the ride, "are you okay?" she looks from me too the steering wheel, then back at me.
I nod, "of course."
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We arrive, as I walk in greeting people, making my way to the back.
Where my brother's body is located.
I look at how pale his face is, holding back a sob I brush his hair out of his eye's way.
Giavanna comes near me, "hey, you ready B?"
I nod, giving myself one last look.
"Good bye johnny."
I go and sit down, as Camden takes the stage.
"Johnny Green, oh that boy was something to be envious of. He hated me at first, but it didn't take him long to become my best friend." He clears his throat, letting a tear drop.
"He wasn't just my friend, he was this beautiful lady's brother." He points his hand towards me, "he was different, which made him special. He didn't know that he was going to die when it happened, but he saved his sister. He risked his own life, for his sister." He repeats, which clearly ticks me off. "He was a remarkable human being, there not only for us, but for others."
He looks up, as if he can see Heaven, "johnny Richard Green, you will be clearly missed. But you will rest in peace, and we will see you again." Camden finishes, as everyone claps for his speech, I appreciated it.
I stand up, scared to look at everyone.
I hold my cards, staring at them, then they fall to the floor and I leave them there.
"Johnny, was my little brother. Yes I teased him, messed around with him, parented him, but I also loved him." I sigh, "I still do."
"He is up there, watching our favorite movies, reading our favorite books. I'm down here suffering without the person I can't live without." I watch as tears drop, "he saved me and I live up everyday knowing that without him, I wouldn't have anything or anyone. I wouldn't be here, and he is the one who deserves to be here."
"The devil's son took my brother away from me, but my brother is up in Heaven. Being re created and becoming a guardian angel."
I smile, "and he is one hell of an angel."
I listen to the rest of the speeches, they are for us to say goodbye to him. But I can't.
When it's over, I thank everyone and dart out.
I walk to a nearby park, drinking a soda and sitting on the swing.
I just needed to get through today.
I constantly repeat those words in my mind, and I did.
I don't care anymore. I won't.
I leave around 7:30pm, walking home and seeing everyone worried sick.
I roll my eyes and walk upstairs, as I am being followed I whip around.
"Can I help you?" I question Andrew, Giavanna, and Camden.
They nod, "are you okay?"
I laugh, "better than okay."
They all look confused, "what about johnny. ?"
I raise an eyebrow, "he is dead.. soo?"
They all look at me extremely terrified, "well night then," i giggle, "im going to go crash, I have so much to do tomorrow. I have a room sale to attend to, I mean Johnny's stuff needs to go!" I laugh and trudge up the stairs.
I am broken, and it's never felt so powerful.