My Jujutsu Kaisen Headcanons and Short Porns

How We Met

Once Yuuji has finished with his tale, Sukuna regards Satoru with a harsh glare. "Is this true?" 

"Yep~" Satoru, who has a hand in his pocket, replies with a grin. "Those idiots acted on their own, thinking it will make me less mad of their fuckup."

"And where are they?" 

"Two are dead - sorry about that, by the way - and the other three are incapacitated. Should I deliver them to you or do you want to deal with them now?"

"Deliver them to me." Sukuna looks down at Yuuji's head, the boy currently resting his head on Sukuna's large chest. "The gaki here has been missing his practice for a while." 

Yuuji raises his head and looks up at Sukuna with sparkly eyes. "I get to play with them?!"

"Hmm." He gives the child a smirk. "They did try to fuck with you, after all." 

"Yay! I've got new pets!" Yuuji fist bumps, getting a grunt from Sukuna. 

"Do try not to break them too soon, Gaki." 

"Hmhmm! I'll play with the one at a time!" Yuuji grins at him.

Satoru blinks in astonishment, before chuckling in amusement. Of course. This is the Ryoumen family after all, so it shouldn't be surprising that even the angel of the house is a demon underneath. His brother IS Sukuna after all.

"Ne, Nii chan, can you please put me down?" 

Sukuna grunts at the request, but Yuuji puppy eyes and pout makes him do as asked. He watches in displeasure as Yuuji runs over to Satoru and grabs his pants, tugging on it to grab to grab the white haired man's attention.

"Ne, Satoru san?" 

"Yes, Yuu chan?~♡" 

Sukuna's brow twitches at that nickname, his red eyes glaring at the white haired bastard. 

"Become my husband."

Sukuna splutters in shock, Satoru chokes in surprise, while Uraume and Suguru gape in disbelief. 

"Wha- what?!" Sukuna finally lets out, the question almost having a shriek like quality to it.

"I like you. You're fun as well as brutal. You'll make a good husband for me." The boy nods his head to his own assessment. 

"Are- are you sure, Yuu chan?"
 

"Oi! What kind of question is that, Shitty Glasses?!"

"I'm kind of a mess to get such a cute wife as yourself~" Satoru laughs out nervously as he massages the back of his head. 

"The fuck did you say?!" 

"That's perfectly okay!" Yuuji grins up at him. "Youre like Suku nii. A mess but perfect. I like you like that!"

Satoru gives the boy a grin of his own, his heart constricting at the boy's words and butterflies fluttering in his stomach. With his mind made up, he goes on a knee, removes his ring with his insignia and holds it out to kid. "I accept." 

"Oi!"

Yuuji giggles at him, outstretching his left hand to Satoru, who gently grabs it and wears the large ring on his ring finger. Yuuji giggles again, clutching his hand to his chest. With a smile, he places a soft kiss on Satoru's lips before skipping over to Sukuna. "Look, Nii chan! I've got a husband now!" He shows the wobbling ring to his brother, a bright blush on his cheeks.

Sukuna lets out a strangled grunt, giving his cute baby brother a strained smile, congratulating him. He asks Uraume to take Yuuji to the car and wait for him. He watches as his servant leads the child away with his soft hand in his, Yuuji happily skipping as they go.

Satoru suddenly finds Sukuna in his face, glaring at him. "I wish I killed you when I have the chance, Shitty Glasses." He said with a sneer. 

Satoru, the troll, licks his lips, moaning at the taste of Yuuji's cherry flavour on them. "Tough luck~" He says with a smirk, his eyes shining with mirth above his glasses. "Now, we're going to be brother-in-laws. How poetic~"

Sukuna's brow twitches in irritation. With a resigned sigh, he says, "Prepare yourself, and cash, for the wedding soon. Knowing how impatient Yuuji is, he'd want the wedding to commence soon." And with that, he walks away, his coat billowing behind him.

"See you soon, Nii san~!" Satoru waves him goodbye, getting a middle finger from the departing man. 

"Why do you love playing with fire?" Suguru asks with a deadpanned expression.

Satoru's reply to him is giving him a peace sign, his wide grin ever bright and cheeky.

And that was how Satoru scored himself a beautiful wife, who grew more beautiful as the days went by in their blissful marriage. 

Too bad he couldn't knock Yuuji up. Their children would truly be beautiful.