Destruction

6-After Math

I woke up to heavy breathing on my neck. I groan from the amount of the liquor I had last night. Flashes of memory hit me like a bus.

"Oh shit." I got up quickly, hearing someone else groan. I look and it's Micheal with his bare chest showing and only his legs were covered.

He shift his body away from mine, I gasp quietly and frustratingly grab my hair.

I had sex with a gay man and I like it?

He probably didn't want to do it. Anxiety started to form inside my body. "Calm down, calm down." My hand started shaking, I look down and I was wearing his shirt.

My breathing became harder to control, "oh shit." My chest moves shakily, I think I'm having another panic attack.

Where's my phone?

"Cal-calm do-down." I told myself, I start rocking, and I heard a faint voice.

"What's ice cream?"

"Ethan!" I look at Ethan who was sitting on the floor, smiling at me. "Your alive!?" I got off the bed and towards Ethan, but when I reach for his cheek, it went through his body.

A gunshot went off and I jumped back, tears started to form my eyes. "No, no, no, no."

"Gabby?" I stayed put and I felt arms on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" He let's go and I looked up to see Micheal. "Wh-where's my phone?"

"Um." He started standing up and found my phone quickly. "Are you okay?" I grab the phone and see the million texts and calls from various of people.

"Oh shit." I drop my phone and started crying.

"Look the sex wasn't bad." Micheal admits.

I tried to breath but I couldn't, "I-I can't bre-breathe."

"Oh okay! Follow my breathing, one, two, in." I follow him suck in air, "and out, one, two, and in again."

Slowly I gain the control of my breathing once again. "Thank you, and the sex was good. Just not better then-....."

He sat in front of me, criss-cross with boxers on. "Who's was your last boyfriend?"

"Francisco Belás."

He dropped his jaw, "holy shit, yeah no shit our sex wasn't good, his was fucking better I bet!"

I laughed, "oh yeah it was, no offense."

"Shit, I'm not even mad you had sex with him. He's 20 and looks fucking 30! If y'all want a three some, I'm here."

I chuckled, "well he's getting married, so no three some." I joked sarcastically, and I looked down.

"What happen between you too? You seemed to still love him."

"I broke up with him, it's kind of a long story to be honest. Your actually the first person I have sex with in over a year. That's how long I have been single, or even touch men, related."

"And why is that?"

"I have server anxiety, depression, mostly anything you can think about." My phone began to rang, "oh shit."

"Well you could ignore whoever that is and have sex with me again, because my ex is being a ass and I need something to relive, if that's okay with you?"

I look at my phone and throw it pass my shoulder and quickly grabbing his face to kiss his lips.

"I'll take that as a yes."

....

I got home and immediately I was thrown someone shoulder, I ignore my anxiety that began.

"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!" I was thrown to the couch.

Glancing to see Luis fuming, I could see steam out of his ear. "Hey lui."

"Don't lui me! You had me fucking worry! I said 9! NINE! And I said if you are getting home late, FUCKING TEXT ME! So don't give me shit and tell me the TRUTH!"

I never seen him this mad before, the only time I seem him anger was when playing games. "Okay, well I had sex, not once but twice, and I drank and actually felt free for one. I don't know what got to me. I felt nothing, no anxiety, crying, anger. I had fun!" I smiled at myself, "oh! I ignored you because I knew you would get angry and shit, I just wanted to have fun."

He huffs and crotch to my level, he leaned and hugged me unexpectedly. I haven't been hugged in awhile, it was soft and uncomfortable. My hands stuck to my side. I started to breathe uncontrollably but he helped by rubbing my back.

"Hug me Gabby." He persist. I slowly put my arms around him, his cheek on my shoulder and I hugged him tighter.

My eyes started to tear and I cried, "why are you crying?" He muffled as he still holds me.

"Be-because I miss hugging." He laughs and I could feel his chest moves on my body.

"We can do it more often if you like."

I laughed, "one step at a time."

"One step at a time." He repeated.

"I want another tattoo." I broke the silence, still hugging.

"You already have four: a lily, a red ink snake on your back, the mafia symbol on your side chest, infinity symbol on your wrist. What else you need?"

"Someone's name."

"Alright, it better be Luis is my step brother and likes to fuck me."

I laughed and back away from him as he laughs uncontrollably. "Stupid whore." I tell him, only for him to laugh harder.

...

"Whats your next tattoo?" My tattoos persons ask.

"Ethan, behind my ear." He nods and starts making the sketch.

After 10 minutes, it was ready. I look at the mirror and smiled.

I think I'm ready to let go of Ethan. I already have him brand, and he's probably so happy in heaven, tasting ice cream.

Once step at a time.

———————————

-Yeet