It's Called Leap of Faith - [Daniel Ricciardo]

43. Forever pt. 2

Daniel's POV

When people ask me too many questions I get easily this uneasy feeling in my stomach. Though thanks to these past ten years in Formula 1, I think I'm pretty good at hiding it by now. 

"Earth to Daniel," I hear my friend calling me. 

"What?" I ask sounding probably annoyed. Which I was, but not with my friends. 

"So what are you going to do?" Martin asks me and I look at him. I find all my closest friends staring at me and waiting for me to say something. 

"What am I going to do with what?" I should have paid more attention what my mates were talking about but it was incredibly hard when my mind was about 150 km away in Monaco. 

"Mate really, this is your bachelor party, be present!" my cousin yelled at me and tried to hit my head. 

"Yeah I'm sorry, I'm here. So you mean Elza?" I ask, my mind wondering back to the most beautiful woman I've ever landed my eyes on. She was everything. 

"Yes Elza and you two and... Well-," Martin continued before hesitating.

"It's fine Martin, you can say it, everyone knows already," I sighed taking a sip of my beer. 

"Sorry, I know you two are not on the same page about kids but-," 

"I think you'd make a great father DR," Blake cut off before Martin could finish. I saw most of my friends nodding, which meant they agreed. 

"You know what's funny? Elza told me that if I'd agree on having kids sooner than later, she would take care of everything. That I could focus on driving and I wouldn't have to worry about a thing," I started speaking but I kept my eyes on the crystal clear blue ocean.  

"So what's the problem? You don't believe she can handle it or?" my cousin asked taking a seat next to me. 

"That's exactly the issue. I don't want that. I don't want her to take care of it and do it on her own. I want to be there, present. How's that possible with the amount of traveling I do every single year? I want to see my child growing up," I explain, somehow trying to put it in words how I'm feeling about the topic. After a solid good minute when no one said anything, I turned my head to find everyone giving me sympathetic looks. "I've made up my mind, Elza knows it and we'll get trough this. I'll buy her ten puppies if it makes her happy."

"Mate-," I look up to see my coach walking towards me. Michael shows me to make room for him before he sits down next to me. "I'm telling you this because you're my best friend and I want nothing but the happiness for you and Elza."

"But?" I already know what was coming. I felt bad for Michael. No matter how loyally he stood by my side, he cared about Elza. A lot. And sometimes he had the hardest times balancing between the two of us.

"She's given up so much for you because she loves you. And she never asks for anything. And I know you'd buy her the moon if you could but she wants the one thing that money can't buy... And you're telling her no. She's crushed about it mate. I know you're thinking this is the right thing to do but-,"

"I'm being selfish again," I finish for him, putting it plain and simply. I knew I was being selfish but at the same time I knew having kids would change my entire world. Our entire world. 

"I understand where you're coming from but try to put yourself in her shoes for a minute," Michael says.

"I've already done that, and I get her, I really do but I just can't do it. I'm not ready to have children yet," when I say I've already tried thinking this in Elza's point of view I really meant it. I've done it countless times in these past four days, ever since I went to sleep on Saturday night. Actually the only moment I hadn't been thinking about it was during the race on Sunday.