It's Called Leap of Faith - [Daniel Ricciardo]

42. Forever pt. 1

Elza's POV

I kept looking at the clock on the wall. It was ticking loudly in this quiet apartment. If I opened the balcony doors, I would probably hear the noises from the surprisingly busy streets of Monaco. Actually not surprising because it was the Monaco weekend. Monaco was blooming. 

I should have been at the paddock. Supporting Daniel, my fiancé but I wasn't. I was sitting in our living room, alone, waiting for the race to finish and for him to come home. I saw my phone going off for the fifth time in two hours. One missed call from Michael and three from Blake. I sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hey Blake," I answered putting the phone on a speaker. 

"Elza where the hell are you and what the fuck is going on?"

"Sorry I didn't answer earlier," I said feeling guilty as soon as I heard Blake's concerned voice. 

"Don't mind me but Daniel was pissed off. What's going on?" 

"We had a fight," I said plainly.

"Figured that much. Look, just come here. None of us wants you to sit there alone worrying," the Aussie said sounding even more concerned than before. 

"I don't think that's a good idea. Daniel hates me," I said knowing very well that I was exaggerating. 

"Elza, Daniel does not hate you. He could never hate you no matter what, so stop talking nonsense. Besides he's driving, he won't even know you here before the race is finished."

"Blake... You don't get it. It's bad. I don't-," I bit my lip trying to prevent the tears starting to make their way down my face. "I don't know if we can figure this one out."

"Don't say that, you're scaring me. Just please, come here. Michael is so worried about you, he can barley concentrate,"  Blake pleaded. "Whatever it is that you two were fighting about, it won't be fixed with you sitting there. Come here, show him that you want to talk things trough and you support him no matter what."

"You make it sound like it's my fault we had a fight," I told him even though I knew it wasn't what he meant. 

"All I'm saying is that we know how stubborn Daniel can be, after all it's quite common issue with athletes. Just come here Elza and we'll figure it out."

"I look like a mess," I really did. My hair was tied up in a messy bun and I had been too tired and miserable to do my make up. 

"You never look like a mess. Just get dressed and get your ass to the paddock before I come and get you myself," Blake said in a stern voice that kinda scared me. 

"Alright, I'll be there. I just need to find something to wear," I muttered and made my way to the decent size walk-in closet. 

"Good, see you soon."

"Bye," I ended the call and threw the phone to the big king size bed. As much as I wanted to wear something like basic jeans and boring white T-shirt, I pulled out my one and only orange colored summer maxi dress that I had. It was simple but classy. I quickly washed my face, fixed my hair, as in let them fall down on my back, and added some blush on my cheeks. Sunglasses would take care of my tired looking eyes. I grabbed my phone, paddock pass and keys and made my way out of the apartment. I could immediately hear the sound of the cars racing on the streets of my new home city. The walk to the paddock was short and easy since everyone who needed to be at the track were already there. I walked to McLaren's motorhome to find Blake on his laptop. 

"Hey," I said quietly walking over to the table he was sitting at. I gave a quick kiss on his cheek and sat down next to him. 

"You're here, and you look great, as always" he said giving me a warm welcoming smile. 

"You don't have to praise me Blake, but thanks," I told him eyeing around the are to see if there was any other people around. "How bad was he?"

"Daniel? Like I said, pissed off. What's going on between the two of you?" 

"So he hasn't said anything to you and Michael?" I asked finding it hard to believe Daniel wouldn't have told them what happened last night. 

"Nothing. The only thing that saved him from the media today was the face mask," Blake shut his laptop and turned to look at me. "He can fool the media but not me and Michael." 

"I know, I know," I huffed and tugged piece of my hair anxiously. "It's bad Blake. I've been trying to put this off, forget about it, not to bring it up with Daniel but I just-," I stopped when I spotted Daniel's McLaren on the TV screen. 

"You just what?" Blake asked after few seconds of silence. 

"I just can't anymore," I told him. I felt one single tear falling down my right cheek. I wiped it away quickly but not quick enough for Blake not to notice it. 

"God, Elza what is it?" Blake pulled me in a hug running his hand up and down my back. 

"I want to have a family with him, I want to have kids with him, at least one, but he doesn't and we're getting married and-," I realized I was crying against Blake's shoulder and pulled away. I didn't want to ruin his shirt. "I don't know what to do." 

"Oh man," Blake said rubbing his forehead with his hand. "Elza I had no idea the situation was this bad. Daniel has mentioned about it few times but I didn't realize you feel this strongly about it."

"I don't know why it has become such a huge deal for me. I've always wanted to have my own family and I love Daniel so much. Why doesn't he want to have kids with me?" I felt stupid for even asking that. But I felt helpless. I had felt helpless ever since last night when Daniel and I had started to talk about our life together after the wedding. Once again I had brought up the topic I knew Daniel didn't want to even discuss about. 

"He hasn't said that, right?" Blake asked giving me a full bottle of water. 

"What?" I hiccupped. 

"That he doesn't want to have kids with you."

"Well... No but-," I started playing with the cork.

"Good, because then you also know that he wants to have a family with you," Blake said squeezing my knee. "Just not until all this is over." Daniel's words exactly. 

There was a long pause after that. I kept looking at the orange McLaren flying around Daniel's favorite circuit. He was in his element. I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. 

"Elza? Are you okay?" I heard Blake asking me. 

I turned my head to look at the man next to me before I found myself whispering, "I don't know how am I able to wait for him." 

• • •

A/N: "Forever" will come in four different parts because I'm mean like that. Get ready!