Accident | Eren x reader

Chapter 10 | Secret Spot

Ymir's secret spot was under a tree behind campus it wasn't that much of a secret but she liked to think it was. Seeing her alone sitting under the tree I walk over to her and lay my head in her lap looking up at her. She placed the blunt into my mouth to start me off.

"Lay everything on me," she said taking a hit.

Taking a deep breath I exhale "I'm a horrible person Ymir".

"How so," she said. 

I keep having little moments with Eren even tho I hate him. and jean- well jean I don't know! Every time I think of jean my brain just goes blank because I don't know what to say. All I know is I wanna fix things with jean but I can't when I keep having these little moments with eren.

"By little moments you mean-"

Yes, sexual little moments. I said. 

"Oh y/n," she said playing with my hair. She gave me a hit of the blunt again, "continue on".

"Jean was right I'm just another bitch to eren. I don't know why am I thinking I'm different. he had me on a list. a list Ymir! and I'm "bitch number 5" on his phone. He only cares about himself and he still is a horrible person. I'm really done this time no more little moments". Taking another hit she tells me "now let's talk about jean".

Jean, where do I start. He's in love with me-

"Well, no shit," Ymir said. 

You know he's in love with me?, I said.

"Have you seen the way he looks at you y/n, the way his eyes look on you as if your the only girl in the room. The only reason I know that is because that's how I look at historia".

"So I really am just clueless".

It's not your fault y/n, how were you supposed to read his mind. she said. 

I didn't have to, he told me so many times and I just ignored it. How do I fix this?

"You can go and talk to him". 

I can't because words don't come out of my mouth when I look at him, and he doesn't even want to talk to me.

You wanna fix this right? she said.

"Yeah".

Then tell him that, tell him your willing to make an effort.

What if it doesn't work. I said. 

"Then I'll be right here with another blunt for you. Never know unless you try tho". Ymir said. 

Your right, I have to go look for him. taking another hit I tell Ymir I'll catch up with her later and I walk back into campus.

"Shit, where is he gonna be." it's late in the afternoon so he could be with the boys. There usually hang out would be at the stairs before you enter campus. Walking outside I see Reiner, floch and eren. But no jean.

I didn't wanna deal with all the boys and eren was the only one I would actually talk to. Trying to wave him down. I saw him look at me then back at the boys.

"Is he ignoring me?" Taking out my phone I send him a text "come here for a sec".

I saw him grab his phone out and look at the text and back at me. He told the boys something and walked towards me.

"What?" he said. 

Where's jean. i ask. 

You called me over here for Jean?.