She's Just That Kind of Girl

Thirty-Four | Violet

I felt like I was ready to jump out of my skin in absolute nervousness. I think nervous is an understatement, but the word would have to do for now. My heart didn't know where to escape out of or if it should just stop. Adrenaline through the roof was the result. If there's anything I knew for sure about myself, it was that I wasn't ever good at hiding emotions. No matter if I convinced myself I was or how hard I tried.

"I can feel you're tense from here. Just breathe. It's going to be fine! Once you're out there, it'll be no sweat. You know the steps, the lyrics, the cues, and skidoos. You're going to kill it. We're going to kill it!" Selena said.

The soundtrack of songs we handpicked to play while the fans waited in the stadium blared as my sisters, mom, Stone, the dancers, and I strutted from the dressing room to backstage fully clothed in act one's outfits, mere minutes from kicking off the first show of the tour. We already prayed and gave our little motivational speech with the crew before heading out here. Though we've had many hugely record-breaking tours, I felt this one would be the most epic yet. Between the costumes, songs, lighting, stage sets, and dance numbers, I anticipated this to be the star show of the tour. We made changes last minute to this show and for this show only. The first one I loved, The Buzz no longer wanted to be a part of this tour. Guess someone didn't like the note I left them while I was gone. Figures. Broken egos make for softer hearts. Ha haaaaa, a wise lyric I wrote is ringing trueeeee.

My sisters and I felt like queens in these outfits, as per the point. I adorned a puffy, red ball gown with lace as the entire upper part that trailed down the center on the front and back, the rest in solid fabric. Glittery black gloves to the elbow, wing earrings, black heels, and a beaded chest-necklace to throw it all together into one giant masterpiece. Of course the dress was held together by velcro so I could change out of it instantly for wardrobe change. All our costumes were like that. Even Dallas' stunning gold-glittering ball gown and Selena's silver-shimmering, body-forming dress. It kinda resembled what battle armor would look like as a fancy, elegant evening dress. She wore beautiful heeled-sandals where the diamonds bejeweled up her legs and Dallas rocked a cool, black, one-shoulder cape.

I stared at them as they talked to the dancers and crew around us with excited smiles on their faces. I love my sisters. My heart swelled with warmth. I can do this. Especially for them. Deep breaths.

We were ushered into our positions. The night had crept up on us, almost into pitch-black nothing. You could clearly see the light radiating off the giant stage screen out in the stadium to the awaiting fans, watching it, waiting for the journey to begin. The stage screen shut off with the lights and instantly the fans cheered in screams as the song playing continued until it's natural end. We sat them in silence for less than thirty seconds, listening to them coax us out with louder screams of anticipation. Then the intro video flashed on screen and you could feel the roar of their voices vibrate through your body. I wasn't anxious anymore, I was energized.

I glanced to my sisters at my sides as the video rolled. They made silly faces and broke a smile out of me. I listened to our voices recorded on this video as if we were spilling secrets. After this approximate minute and a half duration, the screen cut out again and our edgy and upbeat music blared on. Within a moment, the screen lit to life depicting a destroyed, crumbling ice castle as the rest of the stage and catwalks were designed in the same fashion, now fully displayed in flashing lights. The crumbling columns with our Heartbreak Kingdom logo—a heart with a knife through it and one drop of blood seeping out the bottom—on the banners proudly waved on the front two corners of the triangular catwalk. The sea dragon cleverly hidden in the wave at the very front of the stage as a clue of the following act.

Dallas strutted out first on cue from the dark side corner of the screen, singing. The fans exploded in manic cheer.

"you know we're swift guns with a merciless fuse
we're caught blue-handed when the smoke clears
they ink us in black 'cause all they see are face tattoos
crowning us in paper so it's an instant sear to their fire
little they know, we've acquired friends in the umpire
suit up, this event requires black tie attire."