She's Just That Kind of Girl

Thirty-One | Tanner

If we weren't filming, interviewing, or practicing for the championship, we relaxed and rested a bit. We'd rolled into Indianapolis around 7:30 p.m. Friday night, while Clemson arrived Saturday. The flight was more so quiet than anything, all hype at the beginning but eventually calmed the later it got. All of it was surreal. Not that I hadn't been at the championship before and won, but I led this time in the starting quarterback seat. It's a different high than being a part of a championship win from the back burner. But that's okay because you're learning, developing, and honing on when you finally get your chance, you're going to make the absolute most of it and give it all you have. And it happened, we're finally here. Again. We were confident enough to not be nervous, anxious. All is bliss and focus.

This team was something special. We connected and bonded so much not only over the years, but this season. We all wanted one thing and did everything in our power to focus and make it happen with one of the toughest schedules of the year. Not too long ago we won the playoffs against Ohio State, and before that, the SEC win against the Gators. Now, we're here to make another mark. Nothing but positive people and vibes rising in these tidal waves. I'm so lucky to have these guys as my teammates and to play for this school. Memories that'll last a lifetime. In more ways than one. . ..

Me and a big group of teammates—including William and Preston—were working out in a dimly lit room with soft-glowing light fixtures, when a dodgeball war broke out with balloons. Everyone ducked, dodged, and fell to the ground in a roll to avoid the aims. The balloons were part of the welcoming decor for our triumphant arrival and there were tons, so we made good use of them. We laughed, we shouted, we goofed off like twelve-year-olds at a birthday party. I guess you could say it was the equivalent to a pillow fight.

It'd been nice having nothing to focus on but football. I graduated top of my class a month ago—before the SEC Championship—with all honors alongside my best friends and teammates. A wonderful feeling I wish I could've shared with someone other than friends and family. And by someone, in honesty I mean Violet. I hadn't stopped thinking about her every day at some point, whether it'd be something someone said, somewhere we ventured, something I saw, it all reminded me of her. Even though she didn't want me in her life for numerous reasons, I still wished her here. If only to watch the game to cheer us on and nothing more, it would be the greatest highlight. But if she hypothetically showed up, I wouldn't know what to say, what to think. She hurt me just as much as I hurt her, and hers felt more intentional than mine ever was. I really need to stop dreaming up scenarios just to get furious at.

Media Day was fun just trying to avoid as many questions about her as possible. At least they saved those over-eager questions toward the end. Even online, I skimmed all the articles about us. Now I kinda understood where Mary came from. But like I told her, I ignored this garbage. It's just a way for them to get inside people's heads and make you believe what they want you to. The horrible things said about or insinuated with Violet though shocked me. I couldn't believe it. No wonder Violet's the way she is, partly. I wondered if she'd read them, but I'm sure she did. It also made me contemplate if this was part of her change in heart. Regardless, it didn't matter anymore.

All in all, though, even being hurt by her, I missed her. The guys could tell too and I didn't like that I didn't have such a poker face about it either. It was sweet that they made sure I stayed distracted from my head and focused on the important things.

We ate a hearty breakfast before heading over to the stadium to prepare for the game today. You could hear a pin drop with how quiet it was. Tight lips, alert eyes, hungry expressions, brows creased together in high concentration. The game kicked-off in our minds.

A few hours until kickoff, we arrived at the stadium. A lot of fans already filled the parking lot and started tailgating. Crimson and orange alongside each other was an interesting mix to see, yet awesome. The stadium wasn't Bryant Denny, but it carried its own charm. Honestly it reminded me of a giant factory of some sort with its outward appearance. All brick, small glass windows and entrance with a retractable roof for indoor and outdoor play. With the roof closed it resembled more of a massive factory anyhow. No nature surrounded it whatsoever. Just buildings and roads and parking lots. The nearest tree probably being ten blocks away.