She's Just That Kind of Girl

Eighteen | Violet

Tanner shot me a wink. "And I look forward to that day," he said, shifting to lie back down on the grass. "So, tell me. What's it like to be the famous you?" he said, poking fun. You know, the usual.

"What do you think it's like?"

"The fame, the fortune, designer name brands, and high-class status. I'd say it's awesome, right?"

"It's overwhelming, is what it is. Everyone waits for you to mess up, except for your true fans. Everyone watches your every move, judging it as if they get to dictate who you date, what you eat, how skinny to be or not, what you should do with your time, your money. I can't complain too much because this is what I signed up for right? But at the same time, I'm only human. You don't get to work us like puppets just because you decided you wanted to support our passions. It's hard to be role models and normal people at the same time. We're not indestructible, we feel things too. Even with all the money in the world, it's not everything. What's crazy is the fact that you'll never truly be normal or have peace after you've stepped under that spotlight, just once and long enough."

"Talk about pressure. I thought I had pressure. Would you have a normal life if you could go back?" Tanner asked.

"In light of all that has happened. No. I'm an entertainer, I know it's who I was born to be."

"Fascinating. Now, you tell me what's it like before the show. Thousands of fans have paid to come see you give them an unforgettable experience and they're chanting your name."

"I think what most people don't understand and sometimes lose sight of is it's all about the fans. Our fandom is some of the most amazing people I've ever got the pleasure to meet. They're brilliant, they're fun, they're hopeful, they're courageous. All I've ever wanted to do with my music is to inspire and spark something within people, whether it's a thought or emotion, I've wanted to be there for people because in the end, it feels like some of the most important people in your life won't always be there. By choice or circumstance. Music has always been there for my deepest, darkest hurt. But my family, they have been there for everything else. My fans, they are family. So the moment I get to step out on that stage and give them the best damn show they deserve, it's the most gratifying moment most people in the world don't ever get to know."

Tanner's wide-eyed gaze egged me on. It felt like our talks would always be this way, we would always be this way. In either remembrance or if we ever did something with. . . whatever our status as two human beings spending a lot of time together was.

"I feel our music has always been very special in the way that it's made very intimate. We've always been alternative, but we've explored pop and rock, now we're exploring acoustics and similar sounds. The fans have been so supportive and loving with any avenue we venture down. So when we're out on the stage and singing songs, it's like we experience it together. Like we all collectively wrote these songs together because we're all feelings the same way in life at the moment. Fans singing your lyrics with you is so surreal. You know your music is out in the world and you see the ratings on different platforms. Each rating is a person and you don't even fathom it until your foot hits the stage of a sold out stadium of thousands. Putting faces to those ratings is such a blessed feeling. Concerts are like giant parties you're throwing for all your friends and you're the host, it's your job to entertain and have fun with everyone and make sure everyone's having a good time." At that moment, I felt the pain of not singing for six months. Not my pain, but my fans and my sisters. Man, I really have been selfish. Wow, I miss doing what I do.

"Man," Tanner pretended to hold a microphone and shoved it near my face, "this has been E! 'An Insight into Violet Adair's Emotion-Packed Life', back to you Bill."