She's Just That Kind of Girl

Twenty-Three | Violet

Vi,

Last night was amazing. It was incredible. It was a lot of things. I wish nothing more than to still be by your side this morning when you wake up, but as you know, I have a huge game to practice for. You know how these things go.

I ran out real quick to get you this rose. A symbol of how I feel for you and of our friendship. But I would like to date you, Miss Adair. I don't care how, when, where. I just want you in my life.

I hope your day goes well and that you don't eagerly anticipate me most of the day, as I will you. I'll see you after practice.

PS: I love your t-shirt. I grew up listening to Bee Gees too. My mom insanely loves them.

Your admirer,

Mr. McGrey

The letter was written on the very first page of my song journal, the rose rested on top of it. Both on the side where Tanner slept all night, by my side. I picked up the rose and bit my lip. I sat up in bed giddily and peered down at my shirt. The Bee Gees were killer after all. I always thought so.

I glanced at my door, light cracking through the bottom of it. It was too quiet. Too still for this to be our household. I thought about my sisters and wondered if they made it back or if they stayed out all night. I searched for my phone and found it on the floor. How'd it get there?

8:52 am. I guess I'll skip on this morning's run.

Selena: We're back safe and sound! Last night was awesome. We should do more of them! Maybe just the three of us next time? We've missed you. It's wonderful witnessing the old Violet coming to life again, but better than ever. Like Violet 2.0. I hope she'll continue to. Love ya! 💕

Oh good, they're back! I'm glad they had a blast. I've missed them too. Maybe even my old-self a little bit too. It does feel nice not to be so hardcore. To loosen up a bit. Though the anxieties still lie dormant at the bottom of my mind.

I suddenly remembered what Selena told me about what Jack said about everyone going crazy on social media and such about Tanner and I. I hesitated to hop online, but I needed to see. I needed to know. As soon as I did, all those anxieties roared immediately with a striking vengeance.

Article after article, Tanner and I. Me and Tanner. Everywhere. Everyone had something to say about it. It seemed to be everything everyone talked about. People, Us Weekly, CGCU, OK!, Entertainment Weekly. Violet isn't in Rehab, but with another Beau! and The Blonde Adair blowing off highly anticipated tour for a College-Ball-Boy! Let's not forget, Violet Adair forgets Fans for her next Boy-Toy! And my personal favorite, Middle Adair in Life Crisis: Is There No Stopping It?

Oh my god. How is this always so much worse than I ever think it'll be? How am I ever shocked at this point with what they'll come up with next? But are they right to some degree? Celebrity gossip magazines weren't the only ones reporting on it either. ESPN, YardBarker, NCAA, CBS Sports. Crimson Tide QB hanging around with celebrity trouble. Also, Is QB McGrey taking this season seriously? and Tanner McGrey serious about championship this year or Scarlett Violets' bad-girl? Lastly, Kiss that champion ring goodbye with distractions, Tide's McGrey.

Oh, no. No, no, no! What have I done? It's one thing for people to attack me and my career and life decisions, but not Tanner's. He's worked way too hard for his position and career. My anxieties fought for the number one spot in my head to get a stress-induced headache about. Back and forth, back and forth. What I want and what I must focus on and do. My responsibilities. My music. My sisters. My fans. I can't have my fans thinking I don't love and care about them. Like they don't mean anything. That a boy is more important than their feelings and support.

And the more I thought about it, the more I knew I also couldn't risk another heartbreak, another relationship down the toilet. Another mistake I'd have to pick pieces of my heart off the ground from. There's so much against this. It would be easier and smart to just call this off and stay friends. It would be better for literally everyone if we didn't, no matter the feelings involved. Besides, I need to focus on myself. I need to continue bettering myself. For me, for the band, for the fans. As much as I wanted this, I couldn't do it. Not to everyone, especially not to Tanner. I can't let myself go through it again either. I threw my face into my hands, I wanted to cry but I restrained myself. A fool I was to think this could actually work, or just ignore that I knew it couldn't. A huge confirmation if there ever was one. No one could handle this world. I can barely handle it sometimes. I sighed. I miss the bubble I was just in already.

I couldn't stop reading the letter either, which made things worse. I decided to close my journal and shove it aside. I tried to embrace an amazing, hot shower, then craft breakfast.

But Tanner was the main focus the whole morning. Then Tanner and I. Me and Tanner. My anxieties balled all my guilt up into a massive one. I reread his note over and over and over and over again in my mind. What am I going to do? I can't risk another heartbreak. Another world-phenomenon humiliation. But I also don't want to break his heart. But I'm doing this for him, for both of us. It would save us so much time and heartache in the long run. We could both focus on ourselves and our careers. But do I really want this? I chuckled nervously to myself, as there was no right answer. What to do? What to do?? While I zoned out in thought, I heard the squeak of a door opening.

Selena dragged her feet across the floor to a bar chair, wearing pajamas and an open bathrobe draping her. She rubbed her crusty eyes, yawned, and peered over at me. "Hey, Violet. What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing, bed head? I'm cooking us some breakfast," I said, flipping an egg omelet in the air onto its other side.

"Now look who's the morning person," she joked, "are you glowing like sunshine somehow right now? And what did you do all last night?"

"I could ask you the exact same question."

"You got me there. You. Got. Me. There."

I placed an omelet in front of her with breakfast potatoes. Is she drooling?

Dallas approached us from her room, having the rugged-edge set like Selena, but with much more energy.

"Something smells amazing in here!" Dallas said as I poured breakfast potatoes onto her plate and placed it next to Selena's. She immediately inhaled it.

"So, what did you do last night?" Selena asked again.

I glanced at the clock. Nearly nine-thirty. I should talk to them. Get some thoughts and opinions. "Okay, here's what happened."