The Bright Side Of The Life - Stefanielle Love Story

Chapter 27

POV Stefania
"I have to- go home, Stefania. I'll uhm- need some days off too. I'll just uhm- go do the night shoots tonight and then- I'll drive home tomorrow morning." she says with surprisingly nothing but calmness in her voice. The tears are still noticeable though.

"What has happened, Danielle?" I eventually ask her.

"My - grandma died," Danielle says. Her eyes seem dark, darker than usual, almost black from a certain angle. Her facial expression doesn't give anything away. She looks numb, almost as if she wasn't really there anymore.
I'm not good at handling deaths, at all. But I hope I can be somehow there for her now.

I just pull her into a hug which she seems to receive very well. She hugs back tightly. Danielle her head is pressed onto my chest, her breathing is steady.

We stand there for minutes. I have no clue how many, I've lost track of time but I'd be willing to e here with her for as long as she needs me to be. And there's silence. Silence that's filling the room like oxygen. Silence that's needed right now.

Though, she lets go of me after some time.
"You don't have to go to work tonight, Bambina" I eventually say as she completely backs off and just looks on the ground.

"No, no, I have to. I don't want to make trouble because they are just close-ups and they need them soon so I have to do them," she says way too fastly.

"Bambina, I'm sure they'll let you stay home"

"Stefania, no, I told you, I have to do them. Why can't you just understand that?" she snaps which leaves me a bit shocked. I'm just trying to help.

"-I'm sorry" I just say whereas she remains silent again for a short amount of time.

"I'll go to my house now. I need to pack now so that I can go right after work."
"I'll come with you"
"No. I'm sure you have something else to do than watching me packing a bagpack full of clothes."
"I can help packing"
"Damn it, I'm not a child. I know perfectly fine how to pack a God damn bagpack"

And then she makes her way to leave. Without anything else, she makes sure she's got her phone and then almost speed walks out of my house and hops into her car.

What the hell? I just wanted to help her.
I know she thinks that she's strong right now. But she is not.
I surely can't leave her alone like this but if I'd show up at her place now, I know it would be too much for her.

Maybe I should just wait until she finished up her shoots. Then I'll go over to her place and drive her home. I've been there once already and I don't trust her to be able to drive a car for 1.5 hours in this condition.

POV Danielle
I don't know why the hell I have to be like this. She didn't want to harm me, she just tried to help and be there for me. And now I know that I hurt her too because I just left her shut her out. I need to fricking grow up and handle things differently in the future.

It's 6 p.m. when I decide to text her to get rid of some of the guilt I feel.

Danielle: I'm sorry, I know I am an idiot and I'm sorry I reacted like that... I love you so much. It's just a lot going on and dealing with my own feelings isn't easy for me, you know that. Thank you for wanting to help me, really. But I'm just not used to take help from everyone and I've been taken advantage of often enough so I often hesitate and shut things or people out. And I want you to know, I do trust you. But it's like a built-in mechanism in my body that makes me react like this. Thank you for everything even though you probably don't want to hear another word from me. Ti meriti tutto e io ti amo. (I hope that's right baby I used Google translate :/)

Stefania: I love you too and don't worry, it's okay. Should I come over?

Danielle: really?

Stefania: Of course, Bambina. Do you want me there or not?

Danielle: yes, please

Just around 20 minutes later, the doorbell starts to ring.
I rush over to the door and I immidiately fall into her arms as I open it.
Stefania puts her hands around my body too and holds me tight.

"I'm sorry" I mumble into the fabric of her shirt.

"It's okay, Bambina. But can we go in now please, it's cold"

And with that, I take her hand into mine and I lead her to the living room.
"Have you been crying?" she eventually asks while interlocking our fingers.

"Yeah, a little"
"Good"
"Good?"
"Crying helped me a lot when my mom died. Once you experience a loss like this, you kind of know what everyone is going through. Though, every loss is handled and experienced in a different way. But I know you once said you and your grandmother were pretty close."
"Mhm, we were. But I just don't feel in the place to complain and cry about my grandma because you lost your mom and that is a big deal. Whereas my grandma dying doesn't seem that bad in comparison"

"You can't compare losses, Bambina. And no matter which way you choose to handle your grandmother's death is valid. I just told you what helped me. I'm sorry, Bambina. If I can do anything just tell me, okay?"
"Do you want to go home with me? Like to the funeral and stuff?"
"Your father..."
"Is an asshole and will be one for the rest of his life. But yeah, I understand that you don't want to see him again. I just thought that-"
"I'm coming with you, it's okay. I just hope it won't escalate again because of me"
"It wasn't because of you. But thank you, I really appreciate that"
"Of course, what are girlfriends for?"
"I love you"
"I love you too"

She pulls me into a hug. And being in her arms feels good. It's where I feel whole even though a huge part of my heart has been torn out which I barely start realizing just now.

"Are you sure that you want to do these night shoots?" she eventually asks me.
"Yeah, I am. It'll take until around 3 I guess and then we can drive"
"No, no, no, you'll come home and sleep a few hours before we go"
"But I have to- No, that's-"
"Being there super early doesn't help anything or anyone and you need your sleep. So, how about, when you come home, you'll sleep for a bit. Like 5 to 6 hours. And then we'll still be there at around 10. Okay?"
"Yeah, okay. I'm sorry to make such an afford"
"All I'm here for is to support you so don't apologize."

POV Stefania
The night isn't as peaceful as I thought it would be. I am getting barely any sleep because Danielle is twitching, mumbling, and turning around in her sleep all the time.
But that's okay. I'm happy that she even managed to fall asleep in the first place.

When Danielle came back from work, I was awake because I had had an alarm going about 10 minutes before.
She told me that work was good but Barrett has texted me later on that something was up with her. Understandable from my perspective of course. She said that she had to take more breaks between scenes and it was hard for her to focus.
I know that Danielle didn't tell Barrett about her grandma because Barrett has asked me via text why she acted that way at work. I didn't tell her obviously. That's not in my place to do.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I ask her as she slowly crawls out of the bed.
"Just getting something to drink. Do you want something too?"
"No, I'm fine"

She comes back a while later with a bottle of water in her hand. It's already half empty so I assume she has drunk some of the water already. Danielle places the bottle on the nightstand and crawls back under her bedsheets.

"Come here, Bambina," I say as I offer her to lay down in my arms which she happily does then.
"What time is it anyway?" she mumbles into my neck, her breath tickling.
"Only half-past five, you still have some time to sleep."

She nods her head and just cuddles closer to me, her arms around my body like it's the only thing she wants and needs to hold on to.
I just lay there with my girlfriend in my arms, the need of protecting her from everything bad is deep inside of me. She has been there for me in the last weeks, so now it's my turn to be there for her.