Her parents - both extremely religious - raised all their daughters to love Christ and respect themselves. But have their rules tarnished Monica's future?
Confused and inexperienced, she meets a special someone, unlocking a door to a place where rul...
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Two days.
It's been two long emotional days.
I don't remember what happened when Caleb started driving away from the restaurant, I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was waking up in his bed the next day, him by my side wide awake, holding me in his arms.
Scared - that's what he was. I scared him like he scared me. He was scared for me and it broke my heart.
We didn't really talk, we didn't have to, I was in pain and mentally I was figuring out my next move. What do I do next?
That's the question that's been haunting me lately.
I keep thinking I'm being dramatic by reacting the way I am; spacing out, having suicidal thoughts, panic episodes and nightmares. But I know it's normal. There's no written way on how someone should cope with this.
I'm really angry at my dad - that's the only emotion I feel towards him right now, he's taken everything from me and only now have I realized how bad it really was. I've known what he did to me for many years and I sugarcoated it, I thought in my head it was normal, but now as I lay here helplessly, I'm suffocating.
I was living with him, I fucking loved him and he turned out to be a monster.
After about an hour of silence, just laying with one another, Matt came into Caleb's room with a bag of McDonalds for a late breakfast, which quickly put a smile on our faces.
I refused to sit up to eat so we had our chicken nuggets together as we dangerously laid down, not caring about the obvious hazard of choking.
We talked a little bit about my options of what to do and I came to the decision to ignore it, ignore everything I told him and have come to terms with. It probably isn't the healthiest thing to do but while I'm at college, it seems like the simplest.
I told Caleb that my father was arrested but he wasn't as excited when he found out it was on another count of assault reported by someone else. He wanted me to get the justice I deserved, but after a small talk, he understood why I didn't want to tell the police.
I don't want to have to stand up in a court room or go to a police station, and then remember every little thing he did to me.
It's torture.
Yesterday went by in a flash as we watched Netflix, the whole living room filling with surround sound from the speakers as we watched reruns of friends.
Class wasn't even in my mind until Liam came by unexpected to drop off some homework for me. He could tell something was wrong, maybe it was the lack of hickey's on my neck in the presence of Caleb, but without the knowledge he soon cheered me up with a few teasing comments.
He didn't overstep though and I was grateful for the glimpse of normality, right now that's what I need - I need to get out of this bedroom and I need to go.
