For the Record// H.S.

ALL TANGLED UP

HARRY'S POV

To say the least, Willow's stir fry was not good after we came back to her flat a couple hours ago.

We both took one bite and spit it right back into our bowls, looked up at each other, and laughed so hard that Willow started to cry from the amount of laughter she was letting out.

***

"I can-" Willow broke down in laughter again, "-not believe that I couldn't stir fry some chicken." She brings her hands to wipe her tear covered cheeks.

"Artist, maybe leave the cooking to me." I laugh as I lean back into my chair, watching the golden girl in front of me almost tumble over out of hers.

Everything Willow does is so blinding with the feeling of happiness and she gleams that onto everyone.

"God, that was..." Willow stands up, grabbing both of our bowls while she tries to settle her laughter.

"Awful?" I question the end of her sentence.

"Awful." She nods as she scrapes both of the unfinished meals into the trash.

***

We seem to do that a lot- repeating each other's words.

Makes me want to call her mine more every time, it's the little things she does that keep me wanting more of her.

Everything she does pulls me in more, a pull I can't fucking escape. But it's also a pull I force myself to break away from.

I refuse to go any farther with Willow until all her friends know and until I get my shit together.

I don't care how fast it seems like we're going, there's no doubt that our connection is there. I'm someone who needs to just go along with what comes to me, I can't sit around and wait for the 'perfect moment'... I have to make all moments perfect.

Willow and I both need each other in a stable mindset, I need to get all the label shit organized. I cannot have Willow coming in and blurring my vision, I came to New York for my career and I'm going to pursue that over anything.

I know that is borderline selfish, but sometimes that's what it takes to get things done for you.

Another thing I need uncontrol is drinking.

No fucking way am I ever going to be a hopeless drunk around Willow again. That girl doesn't deserve to have to deal with any more drunks and if that's one of the things I can control to make sure she never has another trigger when it comes to me, then I'll be sober for the rest of my damn life.

The feeling of wanting alcohol to help calm me down disappeared completely when I looked at Willow. When I saw the look on her face and the hidden tremble in her hands yesterday, my heart automatically broke... no, it shattered.

No matter how many times she tells me it's not my fault or that she wasn't scared of me, nothing will convince me that she's telling the truth. I was such a fucking idiot to yell and slam my hand down, and on top of that start to walk towards her.

I swear to God, I was not going to touch her. It was my mind searching for anything to help calm me down, I wanted something to help and Willow was my only option, but I wasn't thinking properly and scared her.

Never fucking again.

Having her wrapped up in my arms right now, with the light sound of the rain hitting her roof and the city lights sneaking through her curtains solidifies that I would do anything in my power to never make her feel uncomfortable.