It's Not Over

11.

Alex was finishing up for the day. He had just checked on his last patient and was standing in front of the surgical board to see when Meredith would get off.

"Dr. Karev."

"Dr. Montgomery." He said cautiously.

"I have a patient I need you to monitor tonight. She is 32 weeks pregnant and was just admitted for premature contractions. I gave her the necessary medications but I need to make sure that her labor stops and I have plans tonight, so you are up."

"I am off in 15 minutes."

"Not anymore." She said.

"Get another doctor." He demanded.

"I don't have to, I have one. You. I am the boss. When you have a double doctorate like I do, then you will call the shots. Until then you are mine. Are we clear?"

"Crystal." He said, gritting his teeth.

"Great, glad we understand each other. Have a good night Dr. Karev." She said as she strode away towards the elevator. She hoped Derek appreciated this, cause she had a feeling she just made one hell of an enemy.

**********************************

"That was great work Meredith." Derek said as they scrubbed out.

"Thanks." She said softly. It felt so good to operate with him. He was like a god in surgery. Very precise, very sure, very focused. He was what she aspired to be. Most people, if they didn't know her, would think she wanted to be a surgeon like her mother was. Not so. Derek was everything a surgeon should be and more. He was the kind of surgeon everyone should look up to.

"A penny for your thoughts." He offered playfully.

"What? Oh, nothing. Just wondering if Alex is waiting for me or if he went home already." She lied.

"Oh...yeah. You can go ahead and go. I will monitor the patient for a couple of hours. I don't want you to be late." He said, with great difficulty.

"Really?" She said skeptically.

"No. Not really." He grinned.

Meredith burst out in a peal of laughter. Derek smiled delightedly. That was his favorite sound in the world. She looked so young and carefree when she laughed, because when she laughed, she did it with her whole being.

"Well at least you are honest." She said.

"Not always. Not when it counts, obviously. I...I just want you to know that I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I just didn't want to lose you. You meant too much to me, don't ever think you didn't. I guess in the end it didn't matter. I lost you anyway. And that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life. Well, I am going to go and leave you in peace. Go have fun with Alex and I will see you tomorrow." He looked at her, then leaned forward and kissed her forehead. He stroked her face, smiled and then walked out of the door.

Meredith just stood there with tears gathering in her eyes. This was the first time since she had seen him again, that her McDreamy had appeared. She felt the pain start spreading in her chest and she struggled to regulate her breathing. She wondered if she would ever get over him.

"Mer? You in here?"

Meredith jumped and quickly swiped at her eyes. "Yeah, you ready?" She asked Alex.

"Hell no...the She-Shepherd has me here all night doing her stooge work. You okay tonight by yourself?"

"Um...yeah. I will be fine. I will just grab a bite from the deli and park my ass on the couch and watch a movie. I can survive without you, you know."

"I know...just don't forget to lock the door. This is New York, not Seattle."

"Okay Dad and I will be sure to go to bed early." She said sarcastically.

"You know, I would've swore that we left Yang at home. Yet here she is disguised as a smart-assed petite blonde."

"Shut up and go do your stooge work. I am going to go home and do nothing." She started to walk past him, heading to the locker room.

"Bitch." He said.

"Don't hate me because I am going home, hate me because you are not." She grinned.

Alex looked both ways and then extended his middle finger up to her. She laughed and returned the gesture. He shook his head and then walked away smiling.

Meredith lost her smile instantly as she let herself feel her dispair again. She needed tequila and a lot of it, she decided. The last thing she wanted to do tonight was think.