38. never-ending pain

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Raf knew what he had to do. He had learned a lot about the first transformation in class. Most times he didn't pay attention because he never thought it was going to happen, this year at least. Look where he was now.

He didn't want to turn with his friends. He wanted to be isolated, alone in the dark. Raf didn't deserve to have such loyal friends. He deserved to be in darkness, deserved to withstand the pain alone.

He groaned with agony and pain when he drank the wolfsbane to weaken himself. His mouth was stinging and sizzling and he urged to spit it out. But for the safety of the school, he forced himself to swallow the harmful toxin.

He was in the gym. A place nobody was going to look for him because they'd assume he wasn't stupid enough to turn there. But from the wooden floor, he could see the navy sky. Hours before night had fallen, he had spiked chains into the ground. He hammered them with all his might to a point where he thought the hammer was going to shatter.

Kaura wasn't there either. No matter what had happened between them, she would have been there for him.

Raf's eyes pricked with small tears as he chained his legs and feet. Once he was done, he sat on the floor. And waited. And waited, waited, waited.

Then the doors burst open and he flinched, causing the metal chains to rattle. His eyes widened when he spotted Lizzie barging through. "There you are. I cannot believe you made me run through the entire school. I could have spent that time repainting my nails."

Raf didn't say anything, hanging his head down low. Lizzie's feet emerged in his vision and his eyes rose up through her body until he met her gaze.

"Are you scared?"

He scoffed, standing up to his feet. It was now that he noticed that he was taller than her. "Of course I'm scared. I'm alone. I've seen video documented werewolf transformations in class. First ones are always the hardest."

"Yeah, they said the same thing about witch periods," she huffed, planting her hands on her hips. "Those things were a pain in so many places."

"Why are you here?" He asked, staring down at her.

Lizzie shrugged and averted her gaze. "Because."

"Because?"

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Because I know how you're feeling."

"You don't. You don't understand anything."

"I do," she snapped her attention back to him. "I feel it mentally every hour of the day. And because of that, I am going to tell you right now that you're going to get used to the pain."

Raf shook his head and glanced at the sky again. "You have to go soon—" He yelled when a bone in his back fractured, causing his entire posture to fold. Raf screamed as he fell to the floor, holding the muscle that had abruptly popped.

Lizzie's eyes were wide in concern when she took in his pain-stricken face. "Breathe," she ordered.

"Lizzie," he stressed out through his teeth. "Leave right now."

Instead, stubborn as she was, she dropped to her knees and placed a hand to his chest. She considered trying to siphon the pain away but it was a physical agony, not magical. And if she tried to siphon the werewolf curse out of him, it could kill him because it was a part of him now. So rubbed his back, trying to soothe him as she said, "Breathe, Raf. In and out." Just like her mother has instructed when she was having a chaotic episode. "Relax your mind, try to track the beating of your heart."

Without thinking, he tried to do that and he calmed for only a second when another muscle cracked and he screamed with heavy pain. His entire body shook at once. It happened a couple more times and Raf was convinced that his vision was blackening in and out. But he could still hear her saying, In and out, breathe. He could still smell her soft vanilla scent, could still see her worried face. Raf's bent arm jerked out, grabbing her hand and pleaded, "You really need to go."

His eyes were golden yellow and his canines were already coming down his face. Lizzie scrambled back to her feet, watching as the fur began to rise on his skin. Raf pounded the ground with immense pain, his yells shaking the room.

Except she didn't leave. Lizzie kept her distance to a corner in the gym but not once did she glance at the doors. 

*

Finally, the day had risen and Raf woke with a jerk. His body ached and his head was pounding. Even his throat was sore, as if he spent most of the night screaming and howling. And as expected, the chains didn't let go. It looked like they were pulled hard but they still held their ground.

His bare chest was swarmed with sweat and all he remembered from last night was pain. Raw, immense and never-ending pain. Even mental pain didn't leave him alone because he didn't have Landon anymore to talk about it.

He glanced around the room and his gaze fell to a figure pushed far into the corner. Lizzie. She was in deep sleep and from where he was, he could hear her breathing.

He could remember her words of guidance, trying to calm him through the restless screaming. Raf reached for the key and unlocked himself from the chains. He approached the duffel bag he had prepared last night and threw a shirt on. He began to break the chains with the hammer and once he was done cleaning up, he looked one last time at Lizzie.

Because there was a new fear added to his troubles. Raf was scared that he was starting to grow feelings for the Gemini witch. But he knew that no matter what, he had to shove those sentiments far, far, down. For the sake of MG at least.

~

"You're getting a little old for me to break your human bones."

try guess who said it and don't forget to vote ;)

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