Sinclair's Baby

Chapter 22

Thank you for the votes

AMANDA

Before I even reach the elevator, hot tears of frustration are running down my face.

God please, let the elevator be empty. I pray silently in my heart. I can not bear it if any one sees me in this devastating state.

I can not stand the embarrassment and awkwardness it would cause me because I do not need a mirror to know that my eyes and face are red and puffy already. With my hands I try to catch and control the flow of my runny nose and it is a losing battle.

Please let the elevator be empty,  please let the elevator be empty

I keep chanting in my head my hands up on my face to cover my nose.

Ding

The elevator chimes, finally reaching the ground floor and immediately, I turn my face down just incase people are in there losing faith in my prayer. 

I just wait for the door to open.

As the door slowly opens,  I peep in, looking to ground expecting to find shoes and luckily, it is empty!

God does answer prayers. 

When it suits him.

I can not be thankful enough in this moment that it suited him to answer my prayer.

The time it took to get to my floor is enough for me to quickly clean the mucus from my nose on my joggers, wiping my hands and face thoroughly just incase there is some one trying to enter the elevator when I reach my floor.

Also, I don't want Freddie to notice that something is wrong so I try my hardest to compose myself..

Soon, the elevator dinged again signaling the end of my ride.

Heaving a huge sigh as the door opens, I step into the long hall way, the plush and softness of the carpet instantly calming me down.
I  like removing my shoes just to feel the softness of the carpet under my feet.

I knock on the door and almost immediately, Freddy opens the door just as if he was right there waiting for me to come back at this very moment.

One look at my face and I can see that he sees through the façade of normalcy that I am trying to portray.

I enter the room and shut the door taking my time before I turn to face him again.

The tears I tried so hard to push back threatened to come back as soon as I saw the pity in his eyes for me when he opened the door.

I don't want him to see me like this.

"Come here"
Freddie says with arms wide open, beckoning me to step into them and just like that, the dam was broken and my tears fell like a waterfall.

Heart wrenching sobs escaped my lips as I buried my face in his neck.
I haven't cried like this since I left this town, since I found out he was cheating on me, since I found out I was pregnant.

No, I didn't cry

I held it all inside

As I cried, it was a 3 year old pain that I cried for.

"Shush shshsssh, it's okay. You are alright "

Freddie said softly as he rubbed my back.

"Mama?"
My breath hitches for a moment.
Cad has never seen me cry before and I am not letting him see me now.

This thought helps me to quickly sober up.

Pulling out of Freddie's arms, I go to my son who is now sitting up on the bed wide awake and looking at the both of us in a confused state.

Probably my sobs woke him up.

"Hey baby"
I coo at him as I crawl up to him in the bed and taking him in my arms.

He holds on tight to me and a sob almost escaped my mouth but I held it in.

I nuzzled his neck instantly feeling better from his sweet heady baby scent.

"You missed mummy didn't you?"
I asked, giving him the best smile I can muster?

He nods but immediately asks
"r you kwaying mama"
(Are you crying mama)

This is so typical of Cad. He is just a little boy but he has such a strong personality and is equally protective of me.

With this question, I lost the battle. I couldn't hold my tears in any more.

They freely rolled down my cheeks. To make it worse, my nose started running again but I have no one in this room to be ashamed of.

I(sniff), I(sniff), I am (sniff) not cry (sniff) ing baby, I am not crying at all. I tell him, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

He shook his head at me and wiped my face with his little hand.

"tiies"
(tears)

Yes baby but these are happy tears. I am happy that my baby is a good boy.

You are a good boy are you not?

To this question he simply nods but he didn't stop looking at me curiously.

Well you had fun with uncle Freddie didn't you?

He nods again

Did he make you laugh?
He nods

Like this? I ask proceeding to tickle his sides and before you know it, he is howling in laughter immediately lifting the mood in the room.

Tap tap tap tap

A knock on the door.

Did you request for room service?
I ask Freddie

"Nope"

he answers going to the door to open it. 

I carry a still sleepy Cad on my laps and we both watch to see who had knocked on the door.

Fred opens the door and just stood there longer than he should looking at who ever that knocked on the door.

Just as I am about to stand up to go see for my self who it was, I hear Freddie say

"I don't think you should be here right now"

I momentarily forgot how to breathe for the 2nd time tonight.

Is it who I think it is?

I hope not.

I know it's a short chapter but this is how far I want to reveal in this chapter.

I didn't want to reveal more than I should plus you all know how much I love a good cliffhanger.

Who do you think it is though?
I left a clue in the last chapter.

Would you like to see Fred and Amanda together?

I look forward to getting your opinions

Love you all