here's an explanation as to why i've been missing.
i'll probably be missing for a long, long time again.
i honestly don't think anyone would bother reading this and i completely understand as it's my stories that intrigued you and me (a complete stranger who has nothing to do with you) and my life really doesn't concern you. but i really feel like i owe everyone an explanation and apology so... here it is.
today is 17 may 2021, and i just uploaded the story "star gazing" prior to that, the last time i uploaded was 9 february 2020. i've been gone for over a year
I AM SO SORRY.
firstly, there was the coronavirus. it's a tough time for a lot of us and yeah i think that's self explanatory.
secondly, my grades. i'm someone who cares A LOT about my grades and i'll cry over every B i get. it's kind of toxic but i base my entire self worth on my studies and i feel completely useless if i don't get an A. but don't worry, i've been seeking counselling and getting help for that :)
thirdly, 2021 is going to be a hellish year for me because i'm going to be sitting for a major examination this year, that will determine which college i get into. i'm aiming really high and because of that i really have to work for it... you know?
fourthly, my mental health. damn, it's been rock bottom for so long. i'm so lost, unmotivated and burnt out. but i can't afford to be or take any breaks because i feel like i'm lacking behind everyone else. i break down a lot and quite easily. my nose has also been bleeding every day for a week straight. i just feel so useless and worthless, it's been really rough. even writing "star gazing" took me A WHOLE YEAR because i had no motivation at all. i just want to sleep for an eternity.
there are many other factors but i'd be writing a whole essay if i got into details. and since my readers are most probably not from where i belong, it'll be pretty foreign and redundant to try and explain my situation.
if you've read EVERYTHING, THANK YOU SO MUCH. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. you really don't understand how much it means to me to have someone to "open up" to about my problems.
thank you for blowing up my phone. thank you for voting. thank you for commenting. thank you for adding it to your library. thank you for making a list. it means so much and reading your comments really fuel me to write again. keep giving me hundreds of notifications a day yeah? :"D
i don't make empty promises. i can't promise more frequent updates or anything but what i CAN promise is i'll try my very best to upload again. till then, take care. i'll see you again :,)
happy reading !!
- mirai
