Chapter 23

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Stiles groaned in frustration as Alena grabbed his head again. "You have to concentrate on the memories you want to see, Stiles. If not you are not gonna get anything. Focus or I am going to find your most embarrassing memory and tell everyone."
"That's not the best incentive," Stiles groaned. "Everyone knows I embarrass myself every day. I fell getting out of my car on flat ground."
"Stiles there is always something hidden. Even with the most open... I sense all of your deepest memories," she laughs. "The feelings that shape who you are are all intertwined making up your personality. In my years of training armies, you were one of the few who I've met with so much love and regret. That is where your power thrives the most. Remember that when you cast your magic. Grab onto what you love the most. The people who make you stronger. Don't dwell on your regret, but dwell on your love of people. This gives hope."
"How is love going to help me with this spell?" Stiles sighs.
"Stiles, Kheelan, love conquers all. That's where we start," she nods. "Sit." He frowns but does as told. "Since the beginning of time love has been the top motivator. Whether it was the love of a person or the love of power. Without love there would be no emotion. We start in this world loving our caregivers and they usually love us back. Then we love our past times like reading, drawing, or whatever brings joy. Because you cannot be truly happy if there is nothing in the world that you love. The population would not have grown if not for love. Adam and Eve loved one another to consummate. Your parents did, mine did and so forth. Many people see it as a weakness to care so deeply for people, but caring means there is something to fight for."
"You know you're like my Fae Yoda or something," Stiles laughed. "Words of wisdom from Alena. You should write a book. Or a Twitter page and update it daily."
"Stiles."
"I know!" He held his hands up. "I understand that love is powerful. But how do I use love to get into Gerard's head? I definitely do not love him, and if you're saying I do then I definitely need therapy."
"You do not love Gerard. You love the people he's trying to hurt though," Alena explains. "The people he has hurt. Let's start with this, I want you to cup your hands like this and create an orb." She demonstrates holding her cupped hands up. A white ball forming above them. He does as well. "Okay, now think of your love for Allison and Lydia." He closes his eyes thinking of the girls. "Good. Open your eyes and look at the orb." It had brightened a little. "Think of the others now. Scott. Derek. Malia. Sam. Cas. Jack." The ball of light grew brighter as she brought more of his friends to mind. He felt the warmth of his fingers creating the energy heat. "Dean... Jackson... Isaac..." The ball was now a white light brighter than the one above them. Almost too much to look at. "Focus on the love for your pack, Stiles. Now relax. Let the orb die down to its original form." She watched his movements and his breathing. "Kate. Gerard. Theo." The light died and he frowns looking at her. "Your power isn't linked to the hate for them. It's for your friends. If you focus on the love you have for your pack then you will be stronger."
"I feel like a wolf. Everything I've been taught about control and power it's all been what we've had to teach, Scott, Liam, Malia... Even Derek and Peter. And it's all something I thought I had controlled well," he sighed.
"That's because everything is intertwined, Stiles. It's hard to suddenly have power and keep yourself composed. Learning that you can do something terrifying is well, terrifying. And because you keep your emotions hidden doesn't mean you don't feel them. When you panic your body reacts thus your magic does. Everything comes down to being able to keep yourself calm which ultimately is what you taught the wolves," she says. "You have better control now. We both know this. We worked on it in Paris. But this is the actual test is it not? To be able to listen to Scott and not react poorly. That's the final test, life." He nods. "Tomorrow we will start again with the spell. But today I want you to continue to practice your orb. I will be here the entire time watching you and helping you. But remember to ask because I won't help if not. Guide yourself Stiles. Guide your power and let it flow evenly. Don't let it waiver or flicker. You aren't a candle. You are the sun and the stars. Your power is infinite and so is your light." He closed his eyes now. "Good. Even breaths. In and out; keep your core relaxed. Keep your eyes closed. Focus on feeling and not on seeing the power grow. Blindness is not just the loss of your eyes." He kept his eyes closed as he straightened his shoulders and relaxed his core. He listened to her voice guide him. She said the names again and again. Repeating them in no specific order. She stood feet away watching him. "Balance your thoughts." He nods pushing away any other intrusive thinking. "Good. Now hold that feeling. Think of the warmth in your fingers and stomach. The fullness of your chest. Hold on to it. Remember it. Lock it in place. This is your most powerful state. Do you feel it? The rejuvenation through your body?" He doesn't answer as he continued to focus on the sensations. "This power is just as powerful as virgin magic. Almost as powerful as the magic you can make if you found a mate."
    "I'm not an animal. I don't have a mate," Stiles says.
    "But you do. There are people you are destined to meet. People whose souls form to yours. Everyone has people they are destined to meet. Humans and non-humans alike. Whether it's your best friends, your family, or your lover. Soulmates are not just a spousal relationship. Scott could very well be your soulmate. Or Lydia."
"How would you even know?" Stiles asked opening his eyes.
"You just feel it," she shrugged. "You'll know when the bond clicks. Not many people meet more than one mate. Their love comes first. When the part of you feels as if you cannot live without that person. But your friend, they usually are the other half to your soul itself. Like Yin and Yang or light and day. One simply just doesn't exist without the other. That bond can only happen when you both come to the moment of pure friendship. No ulterior motives. No side thoughts about anyone else. Where you are just with that person and nothing else in that moment matters. That's how you know you found your soulmate. This person in the universe was born to meet you and be close with you. Your power and life goes hand in hand."
"So someone was born to be my friend? And I don't know them?" Stiles frowned.
"Not necessarily. It's possible to know them but to not know your connection. And it's possible to know your connection but not know you are soulmates."
"This makes no sense," Stiles groaned. "Soulmates are both hard to come by but almost everyone has more than one? How does that even work? One day you wake up and bam you could have a soulmate? Like is it a weight lifted? Or is it a shift?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I haven't met mine. Now, focus Stiles. Think of the pack again. Make your orb." He nods closing his eyes again. "Think of your happiness. Of the love you have for your friends."
"Right," he nods. "Okay this is your like coping mechanism right? Or your way of changing the subject."
"Happy memories, Stiles. Orb. Let it simmer. Control it. Don't let the light even flicker, Stiles. Keep it the same fucking lit," she snaps. "Control." He rolled his eyes before closing them again.
She kept Stiles working all day on his control. She lectured him about letting his training go and not practicing control enough. He listened and worked on generating the light from his fingers. She worked him so much that the tips of his fingers began to glow at the end of the day. She sent him to his room and requested that after dinner he go straight to bed. He had to be back before sunrise.
"Stiles," Allison frowned. "What happened? Your fingers are red and you look exhausted."
"I am," Stiles sighed laying back in his bed. "How was your day? Did you explore the gardens?"
"We did," she nods. "They were gorgeous. All of the flowers. Lydia loved it and felt like a princess. Do you need anything?"
"A life where I'm not being bombarded with the everlasting need to save everyone on this godforsaken planet. To please everyone. I want to be able to breathe for once in my fucking life," Stiles groaned.
"Stiles," Allison says again. "You need to take a break. You need a vacation or something."
"I know," he groaned. "I do! But I don't get one of those. You guys can go to dinner without me. I'm too tired to move."
"Alright," she nods. "I'll bring you something back."
"Sounds good," he nods and fall asleep shortly after they leave. He does as Alena is told him and he was there bright and early in the morning.
"Alright, remember the focus from yesterday. Use those thoughts to grab the memories. This will not work without it," Alena said. "Now do it." Stiles groaned for the fiftieth time that day and tried again. Flashes of color came to his mind. Memories from Alena. A rose garden. Children playing in a field close by. Laughing and happiness filled the whole area. Alena was sitting watching the scene. Talking to someone next to her. A boy. They laugh and she had threw a grape at him as he made a joke that Stiles didn't understand. He noticed a ring on her finger.
"Alena, you have always been my light," he smiled. "Now in two short moon cycles we will be married."
"Cannot wait for you to be mine in front of the whole court," Alena laughed. "My mother and father have agreed to present the challis and my sister will preform the sacred ritual."
"Brilliant. My family will of course be the florist and the caters. To see you walk down the aisle in your gown will be the best memory of my life," he smiled brightly. "Since we were children, I've dreamt of this day."
"Arranged marriage usually never works so well, thank you for being so kind," Alena says. "Thank you for being my friend first."
"Alena, arranged marriage or not. I would have married you," he sets a hand on hers. "I thank the heavens that our parents introduced us first as children and allowed us to grow up together."
"Enough of that," Alena said backing away. "You've broke through."
"Who was that?" Stiles rose a brow.
"Doesn't matter."
"Doesn't it though? Who was he?" Stiles asked.
"He was someone close to me. We were engaged but it didn't work out," Alena said. "He found his mate before our marriage and thus the arrangement was nullified."
"Where is he now?"
"With his mate in the mountains," she shrugged. "I broke contact after. I had no reason to speak to him. No right to."
"You didn't even want to be his friend?" Stiles asked. "Obviously you loved him."
"Things work differently here. His mate would have to grant the right for him to even see me since were to be married. And it would be awkward."
    "Right," he laughed. "Well, is that why you have to talk to his mate before you see him? Because it makes things awkward with them?"
     "Well if you cross one person then their friends find out and the next thing I know I have no friends and I'm paying double for everything," she said. "It doesn't matter anyways. If he wouldn't have found his mate, I would not have become the advisor for my sister. Or made all of my friends. Including you."
    "Right," Stiles nods. "Should we do this again?"
    "No, I think you've got it," she says. "Anyways, Allison had asked to give you time off early today."
    "Why would you? What?" Stiles frowned. "We haven't gotten to the part where you show me how I am going to take Gerard down?"
    "I'll tell you tomorrow," she said. "No, now, go sleep or whatever." She waived her hands shooing him. "You've been working hard for the past six months and we agreed it was time for you relax. Your friends care for you."
    "Thanks, Alena," he nods. "I'll see you at dinner then?"
    "I don't think so," she shrugged. "Now go before I have a change of heart." He laughed going out the door and making his way to his room. Staff gave courteous nods as he passed. He gave a nod back before knocking on the door to the room.
    "Ladies I'm coming in," Stiles announced before pushing the door open. "Why is it so dark here? It's daylight girls, you need to go out."
     "Well, I am no lady but I think going out seems fun," Isaac laughs.
   "Isaac? What are you doing here?" Stiles was surprised.

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