FOREVER. newt

seventeen. dead girl walking

I don't think my brain can take it anymore.

Try as I might, I can't stop my mind from turning to that moment, to that feeling unlike any other I felt, a combination of peaceful bliss and supercharged power and adrenaline.

"Thomas," my voice is hoarse, and with how soft it is, I start to wonder if anyone could actually hear me talking. "Thomas... take Newt. You need to hurry up and take Newt. I'm gonna be a burden."

"We ain't leaving you here, Nini." The voice that I recognize as Jisung deadpans. My eyes are squinted together, brain that is slowly being ripped into pieces making me let out a soft groan of pain as I was involuntarily brought off the ground, Jisung grabbing my veiny arms and wrapping them around his neck as he carries my thighs with his hands.

I try to open my eyes again— and this time, it sort of works. Although they look like they're just a bunch of moving blobs, I can see Minho, Thomas, and Newt stumbling outside, while Gally leads the rest of us in a crouched run along the sidewalk, launcher at the ready.

Jisung runs after the boy, still holding me tight, but I don't care about the battle that was going on or the fact that we were going into the heart of the burning buildings. Newt was coughing violently over the cracking fire and the headache that was slowly killing me. The gunshots from behind was singled out; the only thought in my head being Newt.

"Leave... me... Jisung." They come out slurred once again. "Help them with Newt. Leave me."

Before the boy could say anything, Gally lets out a shout. "Newt... Nini... we're almost there, alright? Just hang on!"

As my vision is blurry, my other senses seemed to have heightened. I can hear Newt screaming between coughs, "Leave me! Just... leave me!"

"We won't leave you, Newt." My voice is so soft and weak that I think that Jisung was the only one who had managed to hear what I said.

An explosion across the street sends us all cowering down once more, falling to the ground. I slightly wince when a pain shoots from my elbow, but Jisung, despite the combination of my weight and the explosions, does not wince at all. Instead, he slowly sets me on the floor right beside Newt.

Squinting and blinking once again, I see a surge of people come rushing past us, shooting guns and sending canister bombs flying.

I closed my eyes, as if to say to the universe that I wasn't ready yet, begging for it to give my brain a fighting chance. I don't wanna die in a random alleyway with my friends— and I certainly didn't wanna die knowing that Newt might too.

In the midst of the ongoing violent battle, a louder, roaring sound of propellers that I was too familiar with thunders in the air, causing Gally, Thomas, Minho, and Jisung to peer over the horizontal bars and look out into the sky that was filled with smoke, watching a Berg flying overhead. I tilts my head back as far as possible, struggling to get a glimpse of the passing aircraft.

"Okay... that's them." Thomas orders, looking to the rest of the boys, while I still struggled to crane my neck down. "That's them, we gotta go."

Pressing my lips together tightly in an attempt to get rid of the lump in my throat, the smoke that's trailing into my nostrils making everything way worse. "We can't," I croak out, reaching my arm to the space beside me. However, my vision is so clouded that I end up not touching his hand at all. "I can't go any further. Newt can't go any further.... not like this."

Suddenly, I'm coughing again, chin dripping with black goo, the dark liquid falling onto my filthy, sweat soaked tank top. But I don't care— I really don't.

Because as I did, Newt suddenly lurches and starts to snarl through his teeth as he wheezes, using all of the strength he has to control himself. However, I feel his hand squeeze onto mine, the pain ringing out through my body when my brain realized that he's squeezing it too much.