FOREVER. newt

fourteen. you're only seventeen

WARNING: heavily implied self harm

Everything I ever wanted had been already taken away from me— my present, my future, my very essence of me, and now, my past. Of course I'm trying to fight the Virus, to become sane again. Even though I wasn't prioritizing myself, I still wanted to live.

I was always the girl who got up after every fall, always ready to go again full power, ask anyone. I would never let the Flare Virus get into my head. No matter what the consequences are; I always told myself to not lose myself to it.

"Since when did you remember?" I ask calmly, avoiding the horrid stare that Thomas was giving me from the lower floor. Newt is probably doing the same thing, but I couldn't get it to turn around and face him.

Not when I'm so close to losing it.

Teresa's blue eyes falter, looking onto the ground and avoiding mine.

"Teresa," I repeat, voice scratchy, reminding me of Lawrence. I was starting to sound like a Crank now. "Since when did you remember?"

"Since we arrived at the Right A—"

Something snapped in me.

I don't know what happened next. All I remember is my senses turning black, then I'm back to reality. It only felt like a second, and suddenly, Newt is holding me against his chest while Thomas is yelling at me— but I couldn't comprehend whatever he was saying as I looked at the girl. Teresa.

When Teresa comes into view I don't recognize her, she's not in the same state she was in a few seconds ago. Her left eye is swollen, she can't be seeing a thing out of that and she won't for a while yet. Her face still bears congealed blood and her clothes are an utter mess. Then she tries to say my name, her cracked lips failing at the first syllable.

Frowning as a pang of guilt infests me, I look back at Gally, who had the most terrified look on his face. He slams the electrical machine and readjusts the launcher on his hand, his expression revealing how worried he actually is. "We're almost there, Nini. Just a few more steps, alright? We'll be with Minho and Jisung, and we'll get ahold of the Serum."

You didn't torture kids, Nini. There's no reason to be sad. You should be happy. You're seeing Minho and Jisung in a few minutes.

But you beat Teresa up.

"Teresa," I call out, the words coming more slurred than it should be. Blood was filling my mouth, combined with the black goo, but I couldn't do anything. "Teresa, I'm so—"

Thomas, who had calmed down from his momentarily frustration, shot me a deadly glare before placing his mask back on. "Gally, make sure Nini stays in check."

I resist the urge to slam him against the wall. Newt was slowly turning; why was he prioritizing Teresa's safety and not his?

"Will do," Gally says as he finishes sending the coordinates to Lawrence, pulling the mask back over his face as he nodded at me.

Clenching my jaw tightly, I try to steady my breathing. Suddenly, there is an arm on my shoulder. Newt.

"Are you sure you can climb up these flights of stairs?"

Straining to fight back further coughs, I nod, pulling my mask back up to cover my face. It was too small, I couldn't breathe, but I can't remove it or else I'm screwed.

Our group runs up a few more flights, and when we reached the top, I felt like my lungs were about to burst into pieces any minute now. However, the pain on my face is hidden by the dark mask, so I only follow them, limping forward as we rush through a door on our right, stepping into another corridor.