FOREVER. newt

eleven. honey

WARNING: DRUGS, PANIC ATTACK, SEXUAL CONTENTS

My heartbeat in my throat. I couldn't breathe. The room swayed. I sat down and put my head between my knees. I took deep breaths. Anxiety. I knew it well. Not first hand, of course. But I somehow knew what was going on with me— maybe I've learned it before.

"Nini. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I gurgled out. I wanted to try again, try to say that one more time, this time more convincing. But I knew I couldn't. Because now that I had spoken those two words, the two words that I almost never actually meant, my breathing became ragged, an odd sob slash gasp sound erupting from my mouth, and my body started to shake.

Calm down, Nini. You're gonna pass out.

"Nini," Thomas said, coming over and grabbing me. He turned me around toward him and took my head in his hands, forcing my eyes to meet his. He looked me up and down, coming up with a diagnosis for what was happening to me, and then he said, "You're having a panic attack."

No shit, Thomas.

I couldn't say the words in my mind, only being able to nod at his sentence.

"Just breathe, Nini. Just breathe."

Just breath. The walls were closing in. I was suffocating. I felt sick and my body was weirdly tingling. My vision tunneled. How was I supposed to breathe?

Something touched my shoulder and I felt my body being pulled into a gentle yet firm embrace. I heard the heartbeat of the one who was holding me. My body still shaking violently as I pressing my pounding head against his chest.

"Shh, you're alright, Nini." Thomas whispered soothingly, trying to pull me out of my head and back into the here and now. "I'm here now. Nothing is going to hurt you, I promise. You're okay now. We're safe. Just focus on my voice, Nini. Try focusing on my heartbeat."

I did as told, to the best of my ability, focusing on the steady sound of his heart, my face pressed against his chest. My heart slowly calmed, the blood in my ears quieting, my body stilling. Thomas was way taller than I was, and his heartbeat was beating directly into my ear.

"Now breathe. In and out, Nini. After me." he breathed in for a couple seconds and held it in, before slowly letting it out. "Now you." I nodded and slowly breathed in and out like he did. "Good. Again. It's gonna be okay."

I did the same thing over and over until I, slowly but surely, calmed down. I wiped away the tears and smiled at him. "Thanks, Tom." I finally whispered.

After reassuring him several times that I was all okay, we climbed a stairs that led over to the bottom. I couldn't help but notice that both Xio and Brenda were unnaturally quiet as we made our way down.

Brenda had suddenly stopped, sitting on the ground once we exited into an alleyway. Quickly pulling Thomas with my right back to let him know that the girl had stopped, I stare at Brenda with concern as she lifted her pant leg up.

The screaming from minutes ago. Before the dead Crank. Why did they scream?

"Are you bleeding?" Xio pointed to her leg, his brows furrowed.

"Here, let me check it out." I say, kneeling in front of her as my frail hands that were still sort of shaky rolled up her pant leg.

Oh god.

Infront of me was a bite mark so clear on her skin and the gash from glass right below it.

That's why she was screaming. She got bitten.