7│THE OVERDUE QUINCEANERA

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❝No matter what you do or where you are, you're going to be missing out on something

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❝No matter what you do or where you are, you're going to be missing out on something.❞

Alan Arkin

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"We have a problem," Lydia sighed dramatically the second Theo entered the kitchen.

"Papi!" Elena whined as she walked into the kitchen.

Lydia narrowed her eyes on her granddaughter. "And this one, I don't like her anymore."

Elena rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. "I don't care if you like me."

Theo smiled as he sipped his café con leche. "Sounds like you're both on the same page."

"Your daughter does not want to have a quinces," Lydia huffed.

Theo's eyes widened and he choked on his coffee. "What?!"

"I researched the history of quinceañeras and they're totally misogynistic," Elena shrugged.

"She's been reading again," Lydia complained and glared at her son, "Why do you let her read?"

"I know, Mami," Theo rolled his eyes, "I let her do math, too. I am a monster."

"She has to have a quinces," Lydia said decidedly, "How else will we know the day that our little girl becomes a woman?"

"You missed it," Elena smirked, "I was 12, I was in homeroom, and, ironically, it happened during first period."

Lydia. "You are throwing away your Cuban heritage."

"Okay, okay, let's debate this," Happy suggested, finally deciding to intervene after he'd finished scarfing down Lydia's amazing breakfast, "But we're not doing a regular debate. You two will argue the opposite side to better understand each other. A Lincoln-Douglas debate. Now, the issue before us is quinces or no quinces. Elena, go."

Elena squared her shoulders and cleared her throat before she argued Theo's side. "A quinces is just about the village celebrating that you're a woman, which I know you know 'cause you're the smartest one in the family! But 'village' isn't literal. It just means your family and your friends. So, what's so bad about this modern village coming together to celebrate you?"

Lydia grinned and clapped excitedly. "Oh, yeah! She's good."

"Yeah," Happy nodded, "Mt money's on her."

"Okay, now I'll be you," Theo pretended to flip his hair, "Oh, my God! Do you even hear yourself? Your argument is that my adulthood has to be approved by your friends? Pass!"

Lydia scowled and turned her head in disdain. "Well, I am not gonna clap for that."

Elena spoke with an exaggerated Spanish accent. "So you want to crush my heart into pieces? After I worked so hard to give you an opportunity in this land of the free and home of the brave?!"

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