TORTURED SOUL, general kirigan ✔

CHAPTER FOUR

"There is no way to be sure until he is back in Os Alta," He responded once he placed his glass down on the desk. Liliya watched him for a moment before she stood up and walked over to the table. She grabbed the kvas and took a sip. Her face scrunching up as it burned down her throat.

"Send me to find him. I'm your best tracker. I will find him," Liliya said. Kirigan shook his head and took another sip of his kvas. He then began to flick through the book in front of him. Liliya couldn't make out what it was from where she was stood.

"No. You will stay here," He said before he took another sip. He then placed the glass down and Liliya walked over to him. He turned away from her, about to walk across to the other side of his desk but she grabbed his hand. Using all her strength to turn him back around to face her. The two came face to face, Kirigan raising an eyebrow.

"Let me go after him. Find out whether he is a fraud or not," Liliya said. Not realising how close they were until they were staring into each other's eyes. General Kirigan watched her silently. His eyes skimming across her face, searching. What he was searching for was a mystery to Liliya but she knew she had to go.

"You will stay here. You will listen to orders," He responded. His head leant forward slightly, their lips very nearly brushing but he pulled away abruptly. He finished his kvas as he walked over to the bookshelf. He was searching for something and Liliya knew now that she should leave. She brushed her hands over her kefta. Taking a deep breath, suddenly realising how hot she felt.

"I will." Liliya didn't know what else to say, all her want to fight was gone. All she could think about was how close their faces had been. How desperate she had been to kiss him. It was stupid, she had told herself she couldn't but the want was still there. She had to get out so she pulled the door open and left before Kirigan could ask her to stay or drop another bombshell.

She didn't know if she believed that the boy was the Sun Summoner. It didn't make sense for him to be. Whatever Kirigan had heard must have been false. She had spent hours sat with the boy and there was nothing to even hint that he was Grisha let alone the saviour of Ravka. He was a Shu boy. A scrawny child who knew how to defend himself. He was not worthy of being a saint.

***

After Liliya's meeting with Kirigan, everything felt wrong. The dining hall was too loud. Her room was too quiet. Training was too exhausting, lying down was too boring. Her mind was restless and nothing seemed to be able to stop it. It was worse than anything she'd experience and she couldn't understand what was wrong. Nothing had changed.

The only thing that she had learnt was that the Shu boy could be the Sun Summoner. She still had her doubts but if he was, he had stabbed her, tried to kill her. A saint had tried to kill her. It made her feel cursed. It helped fix her bruised ego but it left her with this constant worry. She was not usually one to believe in religion but something inside her was scared. Scared of what could happen. It was exhausting.

So, as the rest of the Grisha filed away to their rooms, Liliya found herself wondering through the Little Palace. Her feet tapping against the wooden floor, her hands swaying at her side. Her gaze flicked along the wall, searching for anything to distract her. It felt impossible, everything felt wrong and it was exhausting.

She reached the stairs down and took them a step at a time. Listening to the resounding sound of her own footsteps as she moved around. It brought her some level of peace but nothing seemed to make her feel better.