Nidra || HEEJAY

CHAPTER 21

The clock struck loudly in the office, signifying that it was mid night.

The trio turned around in surprise, their brains and hands still working. "Is it time already?" Jungwon yawned, stretching his hands out.

"Apparently it is." Sunoo loosened his tie, "I guess that's enough work for this day, we need rest to be efficient."

Very much agreeable and doable.

Packing their stuff and saying their goodbyes, they dispersed quickly. It was a tough day and Sunoo wished for nothing more than sleep for at least four hours.

Sunoo walked down the alley towards his apartment when his stomach grumbled like an aeroplane engine.

Ah, he didn't eat anything from the morning, did he?

Turning around on his heels, he went to the local convenience store and opened the door, stepping on the white tiles with a huff.

"Let's see.." He said as he picked up a couple of ramen packets. He was just walking over to get some milk for his tea when he saw a huge tub of ice cream on discount.

And as if it was all he could think of, his mind went to Ni-ki again.

"He does like ice cream, maybe I could give him some." Hesitantly, he purchased the lot and wrapped it up in two plastic bags.

With the cold tub sitting against his chest, he took off like his hair was on fire. "No, no, no. You're not going to melt at all."He leaped over the stones and glazed past the curves, all with a smile on his face. Something about the younger made him feel so happy.

It was just so amazing, so wonderful. Suddenly, all the nonsense he saw in those sappy rom-coms made sense and seemed very logical.

But what exactly was Ni-ki to him?

A friend? A brother? A colleague? All options seemed vague and without meaning to him. Ni-ki made him smile, made his heart run and just made everything glow.

In golden sunlight, too bright for the world.

"Eyyy!" He laughed nervously to himself, his hands hugging the ice cream, "What am I thinking? Now now, I'm not gay, heheh."

He's not, right?

And as if on cue, some voice at the back of his head, sounding very much like Ni-ki's whispered, "You are, though."

Then Sunoo's eyes went huge as he put a hand on his heart, the realisation setting on him like a dazzling rainbow.

Beside him, flowers erupted and dolphins flew out from colourful waters. Then in-front stood Ni-ki dressed in rainbow clothes. He turned around with a dazzling smile and ran his hand through his hair, giving a wink. Then he said,

"You are gay, Kim Sunoo."

"Oh fuck." Sunoo said.

Oh fuck indeed.

*****

"Oy, Heeseung!" Jay called out, his skin shining like porcelain under the moon light, "Come here, I'll take you to a place."

Heeseung nodded and jumped down the balcony to reach him. He landed on his feet like a cat, getting a smile from Jay, "You're getting better at this."

Heeseung smiled at this and walked beside Jay, who led him down the slums onto the beach. It was the old, stony part of the beach that no one played in.

They sat down on the rocks leisurely, stretching their legs into the cold sea. Jay looked phenomenal in his view, his face covered in shadows and white light.

A white night that shone like day.

Heeseung felt himself warm at the sight, but the devil shivered due to him. Jay already managed to subdue Heeseung's blood lust and that was scary enough to the horned creature.

"How is the Nidra for you?" Jay asked. Heeseung looked down as he spoke, "It's great...I feel wonderful, but not at all times, though."

Jay let out a confused noise, nudging him to continue, "You see," Heeseung began, causing the devil to panic, "I like killing people, but at the same time I realise that what I'm doing won't give me true happiness."

There, he said it.

"Why not?" the blonde asked, his head now down. Heeseung continued, "It feels wrong. I keep asking myself whether this is my dream or not. There is a devil in me, it looks like me, but is not me. I work for its dreams, not mine,"

He could feel the piercing claws maul him underneath.

"Then, what is your dream?" Jay asked, "Is it not to be different?" Heeseung gave a sad smile, "Is it? I don't know anymore, I don't know anything about myself, after the devil settled in me, I'm clueless."

"It's like I'm unconscious, I can't wake up, I can't sleep. This is the Nidra after all, right." Heeseung chuckled while glancing at Jay through the corner of his eyes.

Nidra, the phase of half consciousness between sleep and reality, it was tormenting him. But this was the only escape from the mundane world, right?

Jay thought for a minute, and then opened his mouth, "Heeseung, I think you should listen to yourself, not to something else that looks like you or sounds like you."

"Listen to yourself."

Oh, but isn't the devil him? Isn't that thing that sits in his heart, telling him right and wrong his own soul?

Is it, is it not?

The devil twisted in discomfort, not knowing what to do. After all, Heeseung was getting closer to finding an alternative for his life. An alternate which would bring the devil to dust.

And Jay might just be the key which can lead him to where the truth lies.

________________________________

I haven't spoken to any of my school friends for the last two years.

Now, the termites in my house are my only friends.