Faceless Instincts

The Precinct

My heart raced at the mention of the old neighbourhood but before I could say anything Nikolai had seem to sense it, he stepped closer and took my hands in his, "it's fine, don't worry about anything, I will call you as soon as everything is under control, okay?"

I nodded and with that, he went out and drove off into the snowy mist.

I was depleted by the time I came back into my bedroom yet I went into the bathroom to retrieve the bag.

I scattered the stuff on my bed and started looking through them again. Picture by picture, letter by letter. I separated the picture I had found earlier and examined the rest. I picked up a picture where Dorian was sitting at the bottom of the slide with various other kids, one of them was his brother, another boy with heavy freckles and a girl with two ponytails and thick glasses almost entirely hidden behind the slide.

I found one with the entire family, I turned it around to see the date, it was almost 21 years old. Dorian's elder brother didn't seem too old either, his mother lovingly embracing both of them and their father looking straight into the camera,  with a smug face. I didn't like that man.

I didn't recall when I dozed off but I woke up with my phone vibrating on my pillow. Nikolai's name blinked on the screen, I glanced at the time, 3:31 AM.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, umm.." he paused, "were you asleep?" His voice was apologetic.

"It's almost three-thirty in the morning Nikolai."

"Yeah.. um, I am sorry to call this late, but this was kind of important." The urgency in his voice was clear even though he tried to hide it.

"Is everything okay?" I sat up.

"No." He said in a suppressed voice, "I... I kind of need to see you"

"Right now?" I asked.

"Yeah, right now" It was a plain instructive tone.

"Can you at least tell me what it is?"

"I would have if I could have, but I can't risk talking about it over the phone, can you manage to come down to the station" I knew there was no way he's going to take a no for an answer.

"Okay I'll be there"

"Just ask anyone for my office and they'll show you the way okay?"

"Okay"

Around four in the morning, I was standing in front of the police station.

I walked up the curb and a cop stopped me, "what can I help you with?" He inquired.

"Umm. I am here to see, Nikolai."

He rolled his eyes and beckoned me to follow him, but the cop from earlier in the day came up to us, "I'll take her" he said and I started following him, "So you are here for Nikolai?".

"Yes, he..."

"Hey Beth, where's Nikolai?" He asked a stern-looking woman without waiting for my reply.

"Still at the homicide", she answered without looking up.

"Looks like you have to wait," he said and showed me to the benches, where I sat like a lost puppy.

I dared to pick up my eyelids and look around only to find eighty per cent of law eyes looking at me. No matter if you are as righteous as a puppy, the gaze of a police officer makes you shiver like you are the most guilty criminal alive.

As I sat there I worked up my brain to adjust beneath the gazes, I realised how it was not the eyes that make you feel questionable but the uniform. I had met Nikolai several times and had felt nothing but relaxed. It's not the person that we fear, but the power that a uniform gives them is what makes our coil.

I had been waiting for well over thirty minutes, fidgeting with my phone and coat when  I heard some people talking, looking up I found a group of policemen walking by and one of them was Nikolai.

He rushed towards me as soon as he saw me and I stood up. He closed the distance and took my hand in his, "how long have you been here?" He inquired.

"About thirty minutes" I answered.

"Oh, I am so sorry, I got stuck there."

"It's okay, don't be sorry for doing your work, though I heard you were in the homicide department?"

He shifted nervously, "yeah," he said and placed his hand on my elbow, giving me a half-smile he subtly looked around. Every gaze was now on us, "let's go" he said and walked me towards the heavy metal door.

Once inside he sighed heavily.

"What is it?" I asked.

He leaned back at his table as I stood in front of him. He ran his palms on his face and sighed again, "for the first time I have no idea how to say this." He said

I stepped closer, "come on, you are scaring me now" I whispered. A million thoughts ran through my mind, was it about Dorian? Was he Okay? And the worst one - what if something terrible had fallen upon him?

He closed his eyes for a moment, when he opened them again I could see a storm of conflict spiralling inside them, "okay" he said, "but you might want to sit down for this one."