Julie & the phantoms | one shots

Author note 😕

The following topic is very serious and horrible so please if don't want to know then please leave Becuase this is a touchy subject for most people that being said I hope you stay and hear me out ~ Savanah 😘

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So ..... you might have noticed my depressing statuses and absents and / lack there of one shots

Well that's Becuase I went through hell and back literally

So .... I was an bad altercation and I was kicked out of my house I was stay at my cousins

I am currently not in school ( online ) at the moment due to everything that has been happening .

my mental health has been up and down ever sense then
I been more anxious and paranoid .

My depression is off the scale

I have been up and down at having melt downs only at nights it seems to the time where I am the most valuable .

Which sucks Becuase I hate when I get like this Becuase I like to be in control of my emotions

So I recently moved into a new apartment and am safe and okay

I won't be same as I once was but
Am safe and secure and away

I don't regret anything I did
I'd do it all over again in a damn heartbeat 

I loved being with my cousin I loved every moment there seeing her dogs and loving them , having them cuddle me when I would have a seizure or a panic attack

Meant the world to me , sense I couldn't bring my cat sterling there with me I missed him lots obviously he is my baby ,
my child .

I was able to come out to my cousin , my aunt and my very Christian grandma who was a pastor wife and knowing they support me and love me just as I am Which means the world to me

I don't want to go into the abuse as I am still dealing but I am slowly healing mentally and physically , I am in therapy more Than I was before .

So am sorry I didn't tell y'all I wasn't ready to admit I went through this knowing that I couldn't speak about it Becuase I felt weak and Like it was my fault that I caused it to happen.

But I know it wasn't my doing , it was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode

And I am glad it did in away Becuase I wouldn't have gotten to be with my cousin .

Again I am so sorry for my lack of posting I have just been dealing and trying to process everything that's happened sense then

I hope you lovelies understand why I didn't tell y'all sooner

Please know that y'all mean so much to me without you lovelies I wouldn't have made it as far as I have , I'll admit I had suicidal thoughts but I never ever harmed myself Becuase I knew I was loved by my family ,by my friends , and especially by you LOVELIES

So thank you for being there when I needed you guys the most ❤️

I love you all so bloody much I hope you guys know that

Anyways goodbye for now my sweet sweet lovelies ~Savanah
😘