Threshold - Severus Snape

Chapter 28 - Then He Was Gone

He was dying, Ermias had said it himself, and I knew he didn't mean his Etherworlder. Johnathan McLeod, discoverer of the Threshold, was nearing the end of his natural life. "No one is meant to live forever. Not you, not Voldemort, none of us. Everything living must die. But it does matter! Your life means something, even those lives you lived in the Ether Realm meant something," I said, knowing my words were nothing to him at this point.

"You tell me the same after your first hundred lives. You know so little that you don't even know how small and insignificant you are. Not just you... any of us," he said, and I felt his words held some doubt. He needed something. After all of his years, he was missing some meaning to tie it all together. He wasn't the first to ask if this is all there is. It was a question as old as self-awareness itself. Maybe that was the price we paid to be intelligent beings... to know of our own mortality and to fear the ending of our own existence. Who was I to help this man with this age old question? What friendship I found with Reu had somehow renewed his lust for life. Maybe this man had never found that with someone. Surely through all of his years he had found love, but everyone he loved had died, leaving him alone again. The grief would be unfathomable. How could anyone keep repeating it over again and again and not be hardened by it?

"I know I don't know piss, but I do know one thing... I care about what happens to our world and the others. Just because you're tired of it doesn't mean others are. Some people only get one life, and you want to take it from them because you're tired after a thousand!? How arrogantly selfish is that?!" I said, knowing full well I should keep my mouth shut.  He slapped me again, this time harder, and I almost felt myself blackout. I landed and stayed down a minute,  accessing the damage.  My neck hurt the most, and I could taste blood where my teeth cut into the inside of my cheek. I hauled myself off the ground and stood to face him again. "Did you ever think when you first discovered the Threshold that you would be a villain?  Is that what you wanted for yourself? What about all of those people you loved over the years?  What if they saw you now?" I asked, hoping he could still be brought back from the edge. Maybe he used to be a good guy. His expression changed, and I felt like I'd struck a nerve.

"What is your real name?" he asked, his expression still as empty as his eyes.

"Katherine... But you can call me whatever you like, as long as you don't call me late for dinner," I said, repeating my old dad-joke. What the hell, right?

"My father used to say that," he said, as if looking so far back in his memories that even remembering his own father was difficult.

"Mine too," I said softly.

"Katherine, don't forget that... about your dad, or about any of your real life. It's too late for me. I've already set into motion that which I will never be able to make up for. I'm out of time. I won't make it to another Occasion. When I go back, it's over for me. I thought perhaps Voldemort had the answer, and that he would trade me the Ether Stone for a chance at real immortality," he said, and I knew now that he felt like he'd gone too far to turn back. I wasn't arrogant enough to think that my words had changed his mind, I think he was just looking for a reason and a way to stop himself.

"What if..." I said, knowing I didn't have long to speak. The Calvary would be coming soon, in the form of Reu. I just didn't want Johnathan McLeod to die his final and eternal death like this. "What if it isn't all meaningless? Just because my dad is dead doesn't mean his life didn't mean anything. I still love him, and he loved me. All of those you loved and loved you... that isn't gone because they are. It still happened! The same with this Realm and this Occasion. Love is eternal! Friendship is eternal! When you go back to our world and you die, I just want you to know that it all means something... and I want you to know it's going to be ok. Even after we're all gone, it's going to be ok," I said, and I hoped he would find comfort in my own beliefs that had helped me weather many storms over the years.  

"Take out your wand," he said, looking at me, and I could see some life had returned to his eyes. I took out my wand, not sure what direction this was going. "The killing curse. 'Avada Kedavra'.  I'm sure you know it. Use it on me now," he said, surprising me a little. The rucksack I'd brought, which was now laying on the ground, had a mini arsenal of weapons to kill him with. Those had been a decoy for the plan that would be a death blow from Reu in the form of a killing curse. In fact, Reu should be here by now, and I was starting to worry. Professor Stone wasn't supposed to die until Reu could go back with him so he wouldn't be let loose on the real world without warning. I hesitated, it wasn't the right time.

"Johnathan, it's been a pleasure," I heard from behind me, and my head whipped around to see Reu standing there. "Well, some of the times...other times you've been a royal pain in my arse. I will see you again soon," Reu said, obviously familiar with this man, which seemed logical considering who he was... who they both were.

"Same to you, Al... a pleasure...and a pain.  Although I don't think I will be seeing you again. My life in our world probably won't make it past my return. I'm sorry for the mess I've left you. I'm sorry I didn't stop myself sooner... several lifetimes ago actually. I would keep this one around," he said, glancing at me, "She doesn't know it, but she knows what she's talking about." 

"Oh, I know, trust me. And don't worry about the mess, we'll sort it all out," Reu said reassuringly to Ermias.

I couldn't understand how my words, which probably were naive and baseless, somehow made a difference in these men's lives. I definitely felt special, like I'd somehow measured up to the aspirations I'd always hoped for myself.  Ermias and Reu nodded at each other, and Reu stepped to my side.

"Do it, Avia," Reu said. I wondered why he left it to me to kill this man instead of doing it himself. I looked at Ermias, and he nodded at me. Maybe for the same reason he channeled his hate towards me earlier, like I was the embodiment of all of those who came before me, maybe now he saw me as the embodiment of all of those who would come after, and it seemed he wanted to be sent away by my own hand. I nodded at Ermias, and it seemed fitting that words were not needed to acknowledge all that this man had ever been, then I aimed my wand before I could really think about it.

"Avada Kedavra," I said, and he fell as the curse took his life.

"I must go now too, Avia," Reu said, grasping his Ether Stone. "If I'm not right back, take care of yourself. And thank you... for all of it," he said, then he was gone. Anyone looking at his body would think he was just momentarily stunned, standing frozen with no movement or expression... but I knew. And I counted the seconds hoping beyond hope that he would be back.