Threshold - Severus Snape

Chapter 11 - My Heart Melted

It looks like I have two offers for drinks tonight. When it rains it pours... I headed back to my room to... change into something more comfortable... gah. I chose a soft pair of black breeches and a short sleeve blouse with black leather laces, and I matched it with a pair of soft black boots. Avia's wardrobe was actually pretty decent. It wasn't something that would translate well into my world, but in this one, it was actually kind of hot... but not over the top hot... subtle hotness. Maybe I could start a brand of clothing in my world... 'subtle hotness.' Sometimes I wish I could turn off my inner dialogue. But right now, my internal thoughts helped to calm my nerves as I prepared myself for drinks with Severus.

I didn't want to seem too eager, so I hung around my room, mulling about what I could possibly converse with Severus about. Hopefully he would lead the conversation. It worried me a little (lot) that Severus seemed to be able to read me. It never bothered me when Reu did basically the same thing, but it felt different with Severus. I didn't have anything to hide from Reu, and I really wished I didn't have anything to hide from Severus.

I finally decided I had waited an appropriate amount of time, and I took off down to Severus's room. I kind of wished he would have asked me to go to the Pub for drinks instead of his room. This felt terribly intimate. I knocked on his door, and this time he physically answered it, which I appreciated. Being an etiquette professor, I knew it wasn't polite to leave a guest to make their own entrance. Maybe Avia's memories were settling in better.

"Welcome," he said simply, and I politely thanked him. Once we were seated in our chairs... close, but not too close, he asked me what I wanted to drink.

"Do you have wine?" I asked, knowing what my limits were with wine. He confirmed that wine was on the menu, and brought me a glass. It looked like he had something stronger in his glass. Maybe that was a safe subject to start with, "What are you drinking?" I asked, taking a sip of wine. The wine was just sweet enough for my liking. "Mmmm," it was exceptionally tasty, and his eyes showed that he enjoyed my appreciation of it.

"This is whiskey. Would you like some next?" he offered.

"Thank you, no. I have a low tolerance for alcohol as it is," I said, "So wine is perfect. 'This' wine is perfect," I said, holding up my glass to look closer at the deep ruby red wine.

"It's Elf-made wine. It is not easy to come by, however I feel it is worth whatever bargain I may have struck to acquire it," he said, and I was glad that the conversation seemed to interest him.

"I would have to agree," I replied, already feeling the warmth hit my face just from the few sips I'd taken. I took another sip and closed my eyes, enjoying the unique headiness. I let a breath out of my parted lips as I felt the warmth move through my veins, slowly flowing from my face all the way down to my toes.

I opened my eyes to see Severus watching me intently, and I would have felt extremely self-conscious if it wasn't for the warmth of wine taking hold, taking the edge off. Part of me wondered if all of this was his intention, and part of me didn't care. I suddenly didn't have the uncomfortable feeling of being in the same room with him, and although his presence still had a profound affect, it was at a more tolerable level.  I still looked down shyly at my glass, suddenly feeling a little vulnerable for being so openly expressive in front of him.

"Don't worry," Severus said in a soft, low voice, "I would never try to take advantage of your altered state of mind. I just thought perhaps you might enjoy the relaxing qualities unique to this wine." 

And once again I was left wondering if he could indeed sense my thoughts. "Actually, yes, it is very enjoyable. I tend to be a little nervous on occasion, and this is the perfect remedy... for this occasion," I said, warming up to the idea of having a casual conversation with Severus, while wondering what exactly he meant by 'taking advantage.'

"So, tell me about yourself," he said, easing back into his chair.

"Not much to tell really. I studied magic over in the States. My parents wanted to move there, and we did, and then I wanted to move back here as soon as I could. They're still there, so I was happy to be given the opportunity to teach at Hogwarts, and so far my expectations haven't been disappointed," I answered, calling on my newly imbedded memories.

"Were your parents magical?" he asked.

"Yes, both of them. But they didn't really feel like they fit into the magical community here. They settled in nicely over there," I answered, knowing that being a pure blood had its considerations.

"So, tell me about yourself now... not just your career, what about Avia Phoenix Airhart? What are your dreams, your aspirations, what drives you?" he asked. I felt honored that he was interested in all of that, and I felt the need to answer this question from my own self, and not Avia's.

"My dreams are, well, to be more than I could even imagine myself to be. I want to make a difference in this world. I want to leave this world knowing that I contributed something meaningful. I don't care about fame or fortune. I just want to know that I took this life by the horns and didn't let go or back down when it really mattered," I said, and I realized I was actually looking unflinching into his eyes.

"Doesn't the truth feel so much better?" Severus said, then took a long drink before setting down his glass and leaning forward in his chair, resting his arms on his knees. "Whatever has transpired in your life recently, I have come to notice a difference in you, beginning the moment you came to me to apologize. I see a fire in your eyes that was not previously there. I know that the water I...regrettably... dumped on you was not charmed, so I feel some curiosity as to what brought about the change in you," he said, and paused for a moment to look even more intently at me, "Is it perhaps your newfound relationship with Professor Thomas?" he asked, not in an accusatory way, but I still heard the implied question in his voice. 

I smiled, thinking of Reu suddenly, knowing that he would probably love to be a fly on the wall right now. "No... although I do treasure my newfound friendship with him. We seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to enjoying humorous dialogue. I also think he finds me delightfully awkward. And since my awkward nature knows no bounds, I feel like I am offering a valuable service by providing limitless entertainment to him," I said, and I could feel myself blushing a bit at the shared meaning of 'limits' between me and Reu.

"Ah, I can see how that would be a possibility. I too delight in your nature it seems," he said, and I blushed a deep red.

"Enough about me, what about you?  What stokes the fire that I see in your eyes?" I boldly asked. He sat back up in his chair, and I was afraid I may have overstepped. He stood up, and I was almost sure of it. "I'm sorry," I said softly, hoping I didn't trigger the pain from his past that I knew was there.

He reached down and gently stroked the side of my cheek with his hand. I wasn't expecting his tender gesture, or how my stomach jumped at his intimate touch.

"No, please don't apologize, Avia. You've done nothing wrong. I am simply refilling our drinks since it may require even more courage from myself to answer your question with honesty. I'm afraid I would feel like a hypocrite if I admonished you for not being honest if I could not myself be honest with you," he said, and my heart melted a little.