Threshold - Severus Snape

Chapter 25 - When You Are Ready

I woke to the feeling of warm contentment, and I was pleased to find Severus still laying next to me in his bed. I suddenly realized what had awakened me, and I froze for a moment. Severus was looking at me... well, not actually at 'me', but at my Ether Stone, which he had in his hand, rubbing it between his fingers and thumb.

"Good morning," I said, kicking myself for not removing it before he could see it. I had completely forgotten it was even there in the heat of passion. I wondered now if Severus had noticed it last night. It wasn't so remarkable that anyone would give it a second glance, but I knew Severus wasn't just anyone.

"What is this?" he asked, too singularity focused to offer a 'good morning' in response to mine.

"It is a necklace. My favorite, actually. Do you like it?" I asked casually.

"It is of special significance to you?  Did someone special give it to you?" he asked, finally looking at me.

"Yes. Reu gave it to me. It is a friendship necklace of sorts, and it matches his," I answered, grateful that I was provided with that answer from Reu, who must have suspected that something of this nature might happen. I felt like I was letting Severus down by providing him with yet another untruth.

"Then why does Professor Stone have one just like it?" Severus asked, and my breath caught a little.

"Maybe it's a popular style necklace. Maybe Reu and Professor Stone shop at the same place. Maybe Reu and Professor Stone used to be friends," and at that point I knew I'd gone too far with my 'maybes.'  Severus looked at me hard for a long moment.

"'Maybe' you should try returning to the point where you started being honest with me and tell me the truth... now," Severus said, his voice dropping low on his last word.

I swallowed hard. I didn't want to lie to Severus, but I couldn't tell him the truth. I felt trapped, and I wished I had a moment to come up with something, even something in the middle of those two options. I closed my eyes, and there were no ideas for me to call upon to provide him with a reasonable answer.

My eyes flashed open as Severus abruptly dropped the Ether Stone back onto my chest, then rolled out of bed in a flurry, moving to grab his clothes off of the floor and hurriedly dress himself. I pulled the cover up tightly to my chin, feeling a wave of shame and regret mixed with a healthy dose of vulnerability wash over me. I didn't want him to be angry with me, and I didn't want him to leave... not like this.

"Severus... please," I said, holding back sudden tears that threatened to fall. These tears felt nothing like those from last night, and I knew there was no chance he would be kissing these away. With that knowledge, I blinked them away, then took a deep breath to try to control my emotions.

"Please?! Please what!? Please tell me the truth?!? With all that we've shared... with all of 'my' truth that I shared with you... and now you cannot find it in yourself to be honest with me," Severus said, and I could hear more pain than anger in his voice. Maybe our revelation of our love for each other last night, and now my perceived deception, was making him feel more vulnerable than was his nature. I could let him leave, and that would give me time to talk to Reu to find a suitable answer, but my heart was telling me that it couldn't bear to see Severus leave like this. Today was the day Reu and I were going to initiate our plan. What if something happened and I didn't get the chance to reconcile all of this with Severus? All of that drove me to try to work things out now, and I rolled out of bed to stand and face the man that I love. He stopped dressing to stand and look at me. He had only donned his trousers so far, and was holding his shirt in his hand. Sometimes my mind is not right, and I blushed as I looked at him, noticing how impressive his bare chest and torso looked now in the light... His pale skin in sharp contrast to his black pants... His soft black hair trailing from his chest down his center... His muscles contracted with the emotions he was feeling. His hard expression softened slightly, and I blushed hotly when I noticed him looking at me in the same manner.

"That's not fair," he said softly, and I knew he alluded to the fact that I was standing in my glorious nudeness in front of him. Maybe having this gorgeous Etherworlder's body did have it's advantages. A small smile reached my lips at him being able to find some humor in this tense situation. Goodness, I truly do love this man. I stepped up to him and put my hands on his chest, aware that I was probably pushing it at this point.

"Severus, remember when I told you that there were things about me that I could not share?  I do not want to lie you, and yet I do not consider withholding information as deception, as long as it is not intended to deceive," I said earnestly.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave... " Severus said, and I was reminded of his affinity for literature, and how skillfully he wielded written word in our conversations. Yes, the web I was in was becoming tangled... not only the web of danger concerning Voldemort and the Ether Realm, but also the web that is Severus. The distinct difference is that I wanted to untangle one, and I wanted to remain entangled in the other. Now, both seemed to be intertwining in a way that I had hoped to avoid. What if Severus found out who I really was?!  He would probably reject me and our newfound love for each other. That thought was especially painful, and I could feel the tears starting to form again.

"Avia, I do love you," he said, brushing the single tear from my cheek that has lost its tenuous hold. 

"I love you too, Severus," I said, a sob catching in my throat. 

"Come here," Severus said, pulling me into him. I felt the warm comfort of his tender gesture as I laid my head against his chest, and it worked to soothe my fears of all that seemed impossible to mend. "I remember last night when you told me that you were willing to wait until I was ready to share my truth with you. I am willing to do the same. When you are ready to tell me, I will be here to listen," Severus said, and I could feel the warmth from his embrace reach deep down into my heart.