Aphrodite Reviews

thirty-one | cursed royalty

Book: Cursed Royalty

Author: reddragonblushh

genre: fantasy/adventure 

COVER

I'm going to be honest, I did not like this. The image looked poorly edited, and the red font was just not it. 

BLURB

There were a few grammar/spelling mistakes here. Firstly, you spelled parallel wrong. There should also be an article before 'other realm'. So, 'another realm', would be fitting. I didn't think it was too great and could do with a re-write. I know some review shops that are entirely focused on blurbs, so if you would like a recommendation, let me know <33

CREATIVITY

Creating a whole new place, with powers and stuff like that...incredible. The amount of thought and creativity it takes is astounding, and to be able to do that is an achievement itself. 

CHAPTER 1 

The start was great! Oh, I love a thrilling start so much, and you gave me just that. I literally smiled while reading, because I knew the rest was going to be so good and I was not disappointed! I immediately felt sympathy towards Ava and a dislike towards Peter. This is good for setting clear boundaries. However, I did have a few questions/points

→ The first piece of dialogue is missing punctuation. 

→Julian comes covered in dust, yet hugs Ava. Does Ava get dirty? Any actions to suggest she is repelled? 

→ I felt the relationship between Julian and Ava was revealed in a pretty odd way. It wasn't very realistic and was a little off-putting. I always love when information is revealed in scenes, rather than narrative, but it just didn't work here. Deceased parents and the sister would be great on its own. This would only build reader interest in their relationship.

→ So I was a bit confused when Ava was staring at the picture. She looks at her picture of her dead parents, but then proceeds to look at 'her dad,' So her mum's dad? Her grandad? Although, from what I gathered, her grandad is not in the picture. So did you mean to say 'my dad'? 

→ 'Ever since sis died' - Avas sister? Or Julian's sister (her mother)? 

CHAPTER 2

Another great, unexpected start. And when I say unexpected...I DEFINITELY mean that. However, I think the pacing was an issue. I wanted more time in important bits. Near the ending, it seemed rushed, which meant it was difficult to figure out what was happening. She has gone to a whole new reality which is a crazy experience! I just feel you didn't use the plot to your advantage. Think about all senses. Describe it. If you do this, it can be very successful. 

→ Contractions need their apostrophe, so make sure you are looking out for this. 

→ Again, a few punctuation issues in dialogue. Make sure you review this. 

→ 'in my stomach.' I would be a little concerned if Julian was throwing a sock in Ava's stomach lmao. Perhaps you should say, 'at my stomach'.

→ Images can help with imagery. However, I don't recommend placing them in amidst writing. It isn't professional and disrupts the writing. Really, you shouldn't need to place images as descriptions should help build one in the reader's mind. Description isn't too prominent in your writing, and so I recommend doing this. As much as action is what keeps a reader hooked and an enjoyable aspect, it needs to be accompanied by a description. This adds so much to a story. Readers need to be able to imagine it in their minds. Describe the dream, describe the restaurant 

→ Coming in the garage...? 

PUNCTUATION

So, moving away from individual chapters, I do recommend getting an editor. As the story progressed, errors became more and more evident. It would be beneficial to get an editor, so the work is polished. 

OVERALL

This was a very enjoyable read, with a great plot! I have only gone into detail about 2 chapters, but that is because I don't want to reiterate points. One thing I would watch out for is plot holes. What happened when she left behind the world as she knew it? What was the point in the first scene (bullying) when there were no signs of an emotionally broken character. Try and relate characters to their experiences. Ava got bullied, so I would expect her to have a more mundane outlook on life. With some work, this book can be a huge success! I wish you the best of luck for this novel <33