Aphrodite Reviews

five | stuck at default

Book: Stuck At Default

Author: ApricotsKiss

Genre : Romance

COVER + TITLE

I had to start with the cover because it was a little...dull. It was a beautiful image but It didn't stand out nearly enough as it should've. Covers are one of the first things a reader sees, alongside the title. I recommend substituting the current cover for something that stands out more. You can use graphic shops and If you would like, I can recommend you some depending on what graphics you like best. Moving on to the title... I really liked this. As soon as I read it, I immediately wanted to read the book. The title and cover are supposed to work together. However, one was brilliant whilst the other was lacking.

BLURB

I LOVED the question. It caught my attention and was engaging for me, as a reader. Questions like this are excellent to put in a blurb. However, I recommend explaining the plot too. As much as it had me hooked, I would've liked to know what the plot would entail.

PROLOGUE

Okay, so the prologue was like an extended version of the blurb. I'm not sure this was suitable because it was like a repeat of what I had just read. The prologue should be a scene that gives context, builds up to the story, or gives the reader background info.
There was also numerous, missed question marks

Original: 'But what happens when her past and present decide to collide against each other.'

Edited: 'But what happens when her past and present decide to collide against each other?'

And

Original: 'Whom is she gonna choose.'

Edited: 'Whom is she gonna choose?'

Also, in that sentence, think about formality. 'Gonna' is an informal contradiction and I felt it would've been better to put 'going to' in this instance. In dialogue putting, 'gonna' can work. However, seeing as this isn't dialogue, I'm not sure if this wording is entirely great. Coming back to the question mark point, the last line is also missing one.

PILOT
This was interesting to be seen in a book. Pilots are usually used for TV shows so I'm not sure this is suitable for a book.

SCENES

I liked how things you mentioned earlier in the book, correlated to things later in the book. An example is the boss's flirty behaviour. You briefly mentioned it and I was hoping to see some scenes where this was displayed. I was extremely happy to find you did just that!

GRAMMAR

Going through the book, grammar was not the best. There were continuous errors that disrupted the flow. I'm only going to list a few examples as I'm by no means an editor:

Original: 'I and Liv'

Edited: 'Liv and I'

Original: 'since then, we are inseparable'

Edited: 'since then, we were inseparable'

There are many mistakes like this, so I recommend using an editing shop x I know a few, so feel free to ask for recommendations.
Also note that during dialogue, if someone asks a question, you do not need to put a full stop before the question mark. Example:

Original: 'Morning hun. Want coffee.?'

Edited: 'Morning hun. Want coffee?'

LANGUAGE + VOCABULARY
The vocabulary was a little bland on the whole. I recommend using a wider range of vocab to keep your book alluring! Also, some language choices weren't ideal. For example, you have used:

Original: 'blending jar' when I believe you are talking about a

Edited: 'Blender' << By saying this, it sounds more polished.

The spelling was pretty good overall. However, I noticed some errors:

Original: 'were pretty popural'

Edited: 'were pretty popular.'

Original: 'withput knocking'

Edited: 'without knocking'

These mistakes were not checked over, as I'm sure the author would've managed to spot them. Do try to reread chapters carefully before publishing as when looking at the bigger picture, it can actually save you a lot of time.

DESCRIPTION
I felt that a lot of unnecessary information was presented. For example, the timings of arrival to the office weren't necessary and I felt there were almost too many times given. Too much information was given. Remember that you don't need to give away every detail about the protagonist's day.

OTHER

These are just a few things I picked up on which I couldn't be bothered to organise into their categories so... get it I guess.

I noticed that you used a lowercase 'I' quite a few times. Make sure that you are using the uppercase version.

I also wasn't a huge fan of the structure of the story. I felt that scenes needed some development and were lacking that something special

Lastly, I noticed you said 'throwback,' for the current last chapter. Perhaps, 'flashback,' would be a better word for it.

PLOT

The plot was pretty cliché. However, I did enjoy it! I loved chapters and was very interested to see how they would develop.

Overall, this was an extremely enjoyable read! Grammar and sentence structure was the main issue here, but I felt the ideas were presented clearly and were enjoyable to read. Good luck with future works <33 I can't wait to see how you develop as a writer xx

▹I apologise that I haven't done as many reviews as I was previously, but I'm swamped with school work as well as trips in and out of hospital. I'll try and get as many done as possible but please be patient <3 Love you all x