Aphrodite Reviews

twenty-two | look at me rain

Book: Look at me, Rain

Author: ItsmeAxelle_

Genre: poetry

Although I write poetry myself, this is my first proper review of a poetry book, so bear with me. Honestly, I do find it pretty hard to give constructive criticism in poetry, as writing is so expressional and even grammar doesn't have to follow the specific ruling. But anyway, I've tried my best <3

TITLE

So I think this was quite an intriguing title for a poetry book. I was interested behind the meaning of the title. When I saw that poem and it clicked, I was in awe. I think it was so creative. Just a suggestion, but perhaps you could place this poem at the start or end of the book. This way it either sets the mood for the poems or ties the book together right at the end. If I had to choose, I would say right at the end. I think it would be an ingenious way to finish the collection.

SPAG

Original: 'replaced with shackles of criticrism.'

Edited: 'replaced with shackles of criticism.'

Original: 'those possessions of mine ,who will...'

Edited: 'those possessions of mine, who will...'

I know this is a minor nitpick. However, the comma needs to be placed correctly. I can tell this was an accident as this was the only time I saw this mistake.

Original: 'but still sore across the skies.'

Edited: 'but still soar across the skies.'

This is a homophone so it is easy to get the two mixed. However, meanings vary hugely, so make sure you use the right one!

LAYOUT

So I noticed that in the first poem the text went from the middle to either side. I was wondering if this represented the descent of the metaphorical 'stairs,' you mentioned. If so, I think this was very clever!

MEANING

The depth of each poem was truly amazing. You approached subjects in a unique manner which was interesting to see. It definitely ensured your poetry stood out! Your poetry wasn't black and white, which I think is an important aspect of poetry. The reader has to dig deep in order to find the true meaning. There is a really thin line between good vague, and not so good vague. i think yours was good. However, I did occasionally feel like you were getting a little close to that line, and so I would definitely watch out for this.

FLOW

So as much as these poems were beautiful, the flow was sometimes a little odd. Although it is poetry, and so the verses are pretty free-formed, I felt there was still something lacking here. Some lines felt a little random slotted in, and I was wondering if they were really necessary. So this was in accordance to the first ten poems. However, you changed your writing style up from the 11th poem and I think they flowed very well. You incorporated both flow and figurative language to create masterpieces. This was truly amazing and I could see the progression in poems.

NUMBERS

Again, a minor nitpick. You wrote '200.' When writing, I recommend using the words, 'two hundred.'

OVERALL

The poetry was so beautiful, and it really hit home. You portrayed emotions so elegantly and figurative language was beautiful. I am so happy I was able to read this, as it is truly a poetry book packed with emotion. I cannot express how beautiful this poetry is, and how it makes me feel. But I will end by describing it like this, stunning.