Aphrodite Reviews

twenty-five | wicked game ⬦

Book: Wicked Game

Author: _BackStabbath_

Genre: Fantasy

COVER
I had to start with this because I love it so much! It is so eye-catching and immediately encourages me to read. I also think it sets the scene.

SENTENCE LENGTH

-Sentences were well structured and featured a wide range of vocabulary. However, there were some monster sentences in there, and I do recommend breaking them up slightly. If you decide you want to keep this, then I recommend varying sentence lengths. If most sentences are pretty long, they can get repetitive, and you need shorter ones to break them up.

- I also felt that sentences held unnecessary phrases. For example:

Original: 'she still remembered each lesson, each word taught to her was vividly etched in her memory.'

Edited: 'she still remembered each lesson, every word vividly etched in her memory.'

I think the edited flows a lot better on the whole, and I have also changed one 'each,' to 'every,' so the same words aren't in proximity. There was something similar here:

Original: 'this was the time when birds should be returning to feed their young ones, the forest should have been alive with the sound of their lively chirruping.'

Edited: 'this was the time when birds should be returning to feed their young ones, the forest alive with the sounds of lively chirruping.'

Again, there was the proximity issue, which factored into the over-developed sentence. Although long sentences can be great, we have to make sure that we are shortening them when possible.

GRAMMAR

-There really wasn't much to fault here. However, you said 'land of nod.' I'm not sure if you did intentionally, but really 'nod' should have a capital letter, seeing as it is a name.

-In chapter three, paragraph ten, you wrote 'atleast.' This should be separated and be changed to 'at least.'

- Look out for capital letters after dialogue. If there is a full-stop, regardless if there is dialogue or not, a capital letter needs to be used. I'm referencing Chapter six here, '"Tell me again about the dark war." she pressed her...' - 'she' needs to have a capital letter.

-  And lastly, right at the beginning of Chapter 7, you wrote 'making her war to the war room,' when I'm pretty sure you meant to say 'way.'

SUSPENSE

This only left me wanting more! I loved how something that seemed like it would add little to the plot, ended up vital to the development! I especially found myself hanging onto the edge of my seat at the end of chapter 2. I did not expect that turn of events and was so excited for what was to come.

DIALOGUE

When I got to chapter 3, I was so happy to see some dialogue! I think you had the right balance between narration and dialogue!

KEY INFO

So I loved how information wasn't just slotted in for the reader. Instead, you sneakily included it within scenes. For example, the story I was dying to know about was presented through another story lmao. I found this very clever!

WRITING STYLE

I cannot stress how undeniably beautiful this is. Despite this being a fantasy book, many philosophical and deep approaches were taken, which I loved! It added that special something to the book, which really helped in making it stand apart.

OVERALL

This is a brilliant book! I will definitely be adding this to my library, as I just can't get enough. You are a truly talented author, and I cannot wait for more chapters. Wishing you the best of luck with this book x