Aphrodite Reviews

twenty-three | aragons

Book: Aragons

Author: earlfangs

Genre: dark fantasy

COVER

It definitely stood out and correlated to the book. I definitely think it portrayed the dark fantasy aspect and was suited for the genre. However, after seeing the cover chapter I was blown away by the one created by Maestrados Designs. I'm not sure if there is a reason why you chose not to use this one, but I think if you did, the book would look so much more appealing!

BLURB

It was so well put together! I especially loved the last sentence, as it reminded me of the purge. It was a good way to end it, leaving readers wanting more. The only complaint I have is the introduction to new vocabulary such as an Aragon or Elysian. This made me wonder if the terminology would be understandable when reading the book itself.

CHAPTER 1

The descriptions were amazing! I loved scenes so much, and I think they were well developed. However, here are a few tips:

- There were quite a lot of info-dumps, which distracted me from the action. There was also a lot of information to absorb. A lot of new words, correlated to the book, were introduced at once. I would perhaps space this out. The reader does not need to know the definition of everything in the first chapter. In chapter 2, you did not give definitions straight away, which is what I liked.

- Sentences can be compacted to enhance actions. As much as developed sentences are a great thing, I felt there was overuse and the chapter could be so much more thrilling. Instead of extending sentences, by making concise ones, the action becomes more exciting.

CHAPTER 2

This was definitely a great improvement from chapter 1! The scenes were so enjoyable, and I was eager to read on and find out more. However, I did still feel that sentences could've been compacted. You really nailed the Fantasy element of the book. However, you need to work a little more on the action element. Action scenes should be fast-paced. Try visualising the scene to see if it works as if there are long pauses between action, this can be a little odd/hard to do.

OTHER CHAPTERS

As the story progressed, so did the writing. The points I have listed above were resolved, and I fell in love with the story. I especially loved the beautiful, vivid descriptions. However, to keep the writing style consistent, I recommend editing your first, and perhaps second chapters. Your first chapter is what hooks the reader, and should showcase yourself as a writer. I would make sure it is to the same standard as the rest of your work :)

CHARACTER PORTRAYAL

This was probably one of my favourite things. Character traits were portrayed so prominently through dialogue and actions. You showed instead of told, which is always a great quality for a book to have. From the start chapter, till the end, this quality never failed. It really gave the book its special something. However, I would watch out for dialogue. I'm not sure if this was how you intended characters to sound, but they were pretty formal. At first, I thought it was a part of their personalities. However, in some more light-hearted scenes, this type of dialogue was consistent and didn't seem very realistic to me. Perhaps imagine being in their shoes, and how they would talk.

THIRD PERSON

I often find it a little awkward when reading stories in the third person. However, I really enjoyed this perspective. It branched out to look at character thoughts despite remaining in the third person. Perhaps this isn't your style, but I would be so intrigued and excited to see a chapter, or even a little scene, in the POV of Raia.

OVERALL

This book was truly magnificent and so very enjoyable! I fell in love with your writing! This book is surely going big places, and I wish you the best of luck with it. This book is pretty polished and so didn't make for an extensive review. However, I wish you the best of luck in any future endeavours <33