Aphrodite Reviews

thirty | voices of silence

Book: VOICES OF SILENCE 

Author: _farheen07_

genre: poetry 

COVER

I know people tend to place stickers from awards on their covers. However, it just looks messy and clustered. I really suggest you don't place it there - you can always make a chapter for showcasing stickers. Apart from that, It looked really nice. It was nice and simple and yet caught my attention. 

TITLE

Perhaps I'm going crazy, but I'm pretty sure there was a reason why you decided to capitalise your title. Again, maybe I'm thinking into this too much, but from how I interpreted it, it told me that the voices of those silent are actually the loudest. Or, when you are in silence, the louder your voice becomes. You can hear that voice that is often drowned out amidst the chaos. I liked the title, the meaning was definitely a good factor. When I read that each poem was written in silence, it all made sense. I honestly don't know how you manage to write in silence lmao, I always have to have something playing, but I admire that. 

DARK TO THE LIGHT 

I really liked this poem, especially the picture. However, when I look at the image you attached, vocabulary like 'ethereal,' 'serenity, and 'sublime' come to mind. You had a good vocabulary choice, I just wish you used more focus on beauty. Also, I'm not sure if this was due to the style of the poem, but there weren't separate stanzas. Perhaps it would be beneficial to do so. I would also like to point out one line. 'a much pretty sight.' This sounded quite odd if I'm being honest. Perhaps 'a very pretty sight,' or to include some of the vocabulary I mentioned, 'an ethereal sight.' So I've listed quite a few things to improve, but this doesn't mean I didn't LOVE the poem. The imagery was strong, which is one of the main reasons I loved the poem. 

CHILDHOOD

This poem was great! I loved the theme, it brought back some memories. However, in the second stanza, the ending of the first two lines is, 'pillows'. This sounded a little odd in repetition, and so the rhythm the rhyme was trying to implement, was disrupted. Also, you wrote 'braking,' when this should be 'breaking'. Finally, I acknowledge you used 'chose,' as it rhymes with 'shows'. However, 'chose' does not make sense in the context and should be replaced with 'choose'. Therefore, I recommend changing the line to something where 'chose' can be used.

THE WORLD SHALL NEVER KNOW 

Firstly, I loved the title so much. The whole inspiration for the poem was stunning, and I could not love the theme more. You also had some good metaphors which I loved. Perhaps consider incorporating more metaphoric language in future poems. However, you wrote 'the world than seems so different. Did you mean to write then? 

HOPES AND DREAMS

I wanted to address some language choices here. You wrote, 'something not real,' perhaps try 'unreal.' It makes the poem a lot smoother. Poetry relies heavily on feeling words...if that makes sense. Simplistic, yet meaningful. Although this is only a minor change, poetry becomes crisper and has a greater impact. No one wants to be reading poetry and then stop because something sounds odd or doesn't flow properly. I always recommend reading through your poetry quite a few times. When I do this, I almost always spot phrases that don't sit right with me, and so I can make appropriate changes. 

EARTH

I didn't want to make a whole sub-category for this one little point, but here we are lmao. You write 'wiltand', make sure you separate these two words :) I did love the theme of this poem, which feeds onto my next point...

MEANING

What is poetry without a meaning, a message? A topic that shines through? I loved your messages. Your poems covered a wide spectrum of themes, but I really loved this. I got to explore you as a writer. I especially liked some of your deeper poetry, but I also enjoyed your more light-hearted ones. It was actually really great to see how much poetry can vary. 

RHYME

This is a personal preference, but I really liked the ones where you chose not to have a rhyming meter. Rhyming sort of detracts from the emotion at play, and can make somber poems sound quite childish. I felt a deeper connection with those poems lacking a rhyme. But again, a personal preference. I think it's just something to note in the future when trying to portray a specific emotion. 

OVERALL

These poems are great! You have amazing poetic skills! The next step would definitely be experimenting with different poetic techniques. Just have fun with it. Try out different styles of poetry, different themes. Incorporate things you haven't before. Search deep for that inner voice and let it speak through your poetry. Experimentation is always a good way to learn and progress as a writer. Even though you may not necessarily like other forms of poetry, like haikus, you can pick up valuable techniques by writing them which may be applicable to what you do like! On one final note, you did have quite a few tensing issues in your poems. I would either recommend getting an editor (for a tad bit of polishing) or reviewing them yourself. Although I think an editor would be far more beneficial.