A Serpent's Fall for Love

Chapter 48: How I Feel

"Thanks again guys for helping me get Cheryl. It really means a lot to me knowing that I can count on you," Toni thanked us as she dropped Sweet Pea and I off at his trailer.

Sweet Pea and I took a few steps backwards so we could see both Toni and Cheryl through the open window, "Toni of course we will be there for you and Cheryl," tears formed in my eyes, "I'm really happy and relieved that you're fine. We wouldn't have stopped searching for you, if we didn't find you there. I know that you've been going through a really rough time right now, but I want you to know that, Sweet Pea and I's doors will always be open for you if you ever need help."

Cheryl flashed a smile while she shed a single tear, "I can't thank you guys enough. I- Sweet Pea," her voiced wavered, "I know I've been cruel towards you and the Serpents before, but I really want to say how sorry I am and how grateful that you came to rescue me. I know that my words aren't enough to fix what I've done in the past, but I hope we can move forward. A clean slate."

I glanced up at him while wrapped comfortably in his Serpent jacket and arms, and noticed how he gave the red head a genuine smile. It shocked me because I've never seen him smile like that in public, only when we are alone and the sight warms my heart. That the guy that most people are intimidated by, can actually show his softer side with people he cares about. "It's fine. We both said and did some pretty fucked up shit. Clean slate," he spoke with a grin, "Well, see you guys later. Be safe." Pea moved his hand to the small of my back as he guided me to our place. Once inside, we both plopped down on our bed.Our. For some reason, I really enjoy and love the fact that I can call his home, mine as well. A place were I feel safe, comfortable, and loved. 

Taking off my heels and Pea's jacket, a yawn escaped from me. As much as the bed in front of me was calling out my name, I needed to take a shower. Although, I think I'm gonna take a bath because right now, my feet are killing me from all the running we did, especially in my heels. It was times like this, that I wish I could just blink my eyes and I'd be showered. When I stepped inside the bathroom, I turned the water on and threw my hair up into a messy bun as I was just too tired to wash my hair tonight, and walked outside into the room to grab one of Sweet Pea's t-shirts and a pair of Nike pro shorts from the closet, but when I turned towards the bed I saw Pea dozing off. 

I shook my head as I climbed onto the bed beside him, "Pea get up. You need to take a shower."

Pea groaned and threw a pillow over his face, "But I'm soo tired," his voice was muffled.

"What if I say you can take a bath with me," I cooed next to his ear.

In an instant, the pillow was off of his handsome face and he grabbed my hand as he pulled me into the bathroom with me giggling at his excitement. "You are something else baby," I said as I took of my top. Sweet Pea just shrugged his shoulders as his cheeks blushed a slight shade of red as he looked away from me undressing myself. Hm, who would've thought he would be such a gentlemen.

When I finished undressing myself, I laced my hand into Pea's and lead us into the tub. As we slid into the tub, I relaxed onto Sweet Pea's rock hard chest, letting the warm water relax me. "This feels nice," I leaned my head onto him as he wrapped his arms around me.

I felt his chest rumble as he hummed, "It does."  I reached to grab the body wash, but Pea put a hand onto my shoulder, "Let me princess." Rolling my eyes, I let him since I was exhausted and loved being pampered by him, because I know he doesn't ever do it for people, it was rare and it showed me that I was special to him, even though neither of us have said the 'L' word yet. I moaned a little as he massaged my back as he washed me. I've been holding so much tension and stress inside that it felt nice to finally have a moment without any worry. "Princess," his voice held so much concern. Slowly, I turned around to face him with furrowed brows. "How are you with everything? And don't tell me your just 'fine' because what you're going through right now, nobody will be just fine."

I sighed as I placed a hand on top of his, "I'm just... Scared. Fear is all I'm feeling 24/7. Ever since I stepped foot into Riverdale, I felt fear. Terrified how my sister and mother would react to me when I first got here, especially my dad. Petrified about the Black Hood coming to kill me and petrified about the mob because... I know that they won't stop until they get what they want. Even if it means my death."

Pea's eyes softened, all the hardness that he holds in theme vanish as he saw my fragile state. "I'm sorry Andy."

"What? You have nothing to be sorry for baby," my eyes held so much confusion in them. It's not his fault that my life is shit. I'm just that unlucky to be blessed with a fucked up family and life.

"I'm sorry because I feel like I let you down princess," he spoke softly, almost as a whisper. "I should've been by your side day and night the moment you told me about the letter from the Black Hood then maybe... maybe you could've just stayed here with me and not be apart of this whole entire mob thing. At least it would take one of the two targets off your back. I just feel like it's all my fault that you've been dragged into this mess that your dad put you guys in."

Guilt filled me as he mentioned 'two targets' because in reality I know that I have three targets. Who ever this creep is texting me, I know he was the one outside the Pembrooke yesterday. Telling Sweet Pea and the Serpents is the right thing to do, but in all honesty, I don't want to bring my family into my messes, because they are all looking like they'll end in blood spilt. I can't handle the thought, better yet living, knowing that someone was hurt or even killed because of me. Jaxon died for me and that messed with my head for months after, hell it still does. It was because of me that Jaxon had his life ripped away in a blink of in eye just because he cared too much for me. It was because he cared for me that his parents lost their only son to a man, my father, who just wanted to punish his daughter to cause her mental trauma. My father did not directly hurt me that night, but instead, ripped my heart out and stomped on it when he killed the first guy I felt something for, Jaxon.

If dad were to ever hurt the Serpents or Sweet Pea, I don't think I could handle it. The pain and depression that would follow after. If he were to kill any of them, the pieces wouldn't be able to be pieced back together for me, not again. If he killed Sweet Pea, I don't even think death would bring me peace because I don't even know what would happen after. I don't know if I'd be reunited with Sweet Pea, or if there even is life after death. What if it's all just a myth that everyone talks about just so that people aren't that afraid of dying? 

That's why I refuse to let my father take Sweet Pea away from me. He's done it once before and I refuse to let myself go back down that path that I did when Jaxon died. The depression and spiral of anger and self guilt. Sweet Pea is the most important to me in this world. He is my world. The man that I know that I feel the most comfortable and safe in his arms. 

Sweet Pea, the man that I love.