count on me (l.h)

"if i'm with you, i'm home"

"But that's part of the dream, isn't it?" Kate asked, almost as if she was trying to get me to admit something. "I'm sure you moving into a forever kind of place has him thinking about what forever with you could be like." I tilted my head to the side a little as Kate started to aimlessly walk around the room. I glanced at Emma, who seemed just as intrigued. "He's a lucky guy, that's all. To possibly be part of your forever, you know? I mean—not just because it's yours, just... I don't know. It's crazy to think that people could be discovering the beginning of their forever."

"Isn't being born the beginning of your forever?" Emma asked through a laugh.

"I guess, but I'm talking about the forever you dream about. The one you've romanticized since the world started to make sense... the one you hope for every night. The forever you spend with someone else, if that's what you dream about your forever being."

"I'm bad at thinking that way, if I'm being honest," I admitted through a sigh. "That kind of thinking scares me. As much as part of me wants what you're saying, another part of me has to take a step back and consider that I've only been with Luke for a short time. I don't want to get lost in daydreams that can't be guaranteed. It's just not smart to do that, when anything could happen."

"Knock knock." I turned abruptly to see Luke standing in the doorway, which caused my heart to pound. He had absolutely heard what I just said, and I hoped he hadn't taken it negatively. "They're making dinner plans downstairs, and I thought you all might wanna take part."

"Yes, please," Emma said before walking over to Kate and loosely grabbing her arm, trying to pull her along. "We'll go see what they're thinking."

"Let them know I'm good with whatever," I told them, knowing that Emma was trying leave Luke and myself alone. Which I appreciated.

"I already told them I didn't care... so they're just waiting on you two," Luke said, further establishing that the two of us were to be left alone. The two of them disappeared, the steps creaking as they went.

"I'm sorry that you walked in on me saying that—"

"No, don't apologize," Luke said, shaking his head. "It wasn't anything I didn't already know, or that I hadn't already heard."

"I guess... I just don't want you thinking that I talk negatively about us behind your back."

"Jos, you're a realist," he said through a laugh. "I know you well enough to know that you didn't mean any of that negatively. That's how you see things, and that's okay."

"A realist and an idealist fall in love... and the rest is history," I said through a chuckle as I turned around, beginning to walk to one of the windows on the far wall.

"What could be better? I get us wrapped up in our favorite daydreams, and you make sure we don't float away. We're always safe, with fewer chances of slipping." Luke walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, reminding me of the first time I had shown him the house. Back when I was doing a lot of lying to myself, and keeping my feelings and desires locked away. "You know, the first time you brought me here... you thought you were expressing some silly daydream mapping out all your plans to me, but look at where you are, Jos. In such a little amount of time, you've made it."

"Thanks to you," I said quietly, my voice breaking as I was suddenly overcome with emotion. "Everything is thanks to you."

Luke held me a little tighter as a couple of tears fell down my cheeks, pressing his lips against the top of my head. We stayed that way for a long while, eventually swaying to an imaginary tune as we both seemed to slip into a shared daze.

"Kate was right—I do like to think about what forever would be like with you," Luke said, almost in a whisper. "It sorta sounds like she likes to think the same thing, though."

"What?" I asked, turning in his arms abruptly.

"C'mon, bubs... she's so into you." My jaw dropped slightly as I looked all around Luke's face—he wasn't showing any signs of being upset or discouraged, he just seemed to be stating a fact.

"That's silly, Lu."

"You really don't think she's got a thing for you?" I pondered for a moment, biting my lip as I tried to analyze past interactions.

"I don't know what I think," I told him through a sigh. "But it's not something I've ever thought until you and Emma put it into my head."

"So Emma agrees?"

"Maybe she's got some sort of subconscious girl crush, okay? But it's nothing serious," I told him through a laugh. "You're not jealous, are you?"

"She was making mean eyes at me, Josie—I'm hurt." I rolled my eyes at Luke acting pitiful. "I don't think she likes me very much."

"You two just met, Luke. I think the two of you will really get along," I told him, which caused him to smile. "Maybe we should go back down to the others?"

"I suppose," he said through a huff. "Can I have a kiss first?"

"My favorite question," I said just before reaching up and placing my lips on his. He placed his hand on my cheek before deepening the kiss. We pulled away before too long, both of us smiling wide. "I can't wait for it to be just the two of us tonight."

"You read my mind."

a/n:

good god i do not like this chapter and i am sorry for its existence. i am so worried it's SOO slow

the next will be better

i have been writing this chapter for over a week and it wasn't getting any better !!! so here is the best i could do </3

i'm just glad to have a finished product

i have missed u all !!!!!! i feel sad when i don't update for over a week (honestly i feel sad when i'm not updating every other day) bc it means i don't get to talk w/ u all !! and u all are my favorite people <3

thank you for being you. and thank you for being here :)

ok i'm sleepy. i'm gonna go to bed.

i love you guys. thanks for reading !! <3

jill