The Nerd [ongoing]

raison d'être (26.)

raison d'être

(n.) a reason for excisting

"So, A. What happened to your face?" We're sitting outside today, the cafeteria was way too hot with all those students in there.

I look at Jason, who asked the question. "What do you mean?"

"The cut on your eyebrow." Oh, right. The cut on my eyebrow. The only thing make-up couldn't conseal. 

"You'll laugh if I tell you so I won't." Which is obviously a lie but I was planning on telling no one about my dad. Which didn't really work out so I decided to keep the number of people that do know as small as possible.

Jason smirks. "That only makes me want to know more." I give him a look. 

"Fine, I'll stop asking." I keep looking at him, enjoying seeing him squirm. 

"Stop looking at me like that. You're seriously creeping me out." I inwardly chuckle and take a bite out of my tuna sandwich. My favorite.

Eliza made them for me when she found out I was planning to leave without any lunch. I love her so much. The way to my heart is through my stomach. I really don't get why some girls only eat salad.

I take another bite. "Earth to Ava!" I look up. Rea giggles. "Where've you been? Doesn't matter. Wanna go to the fair with us? It's just outside the city the day after tomorrow, or Saturday. It's somewhere called.. Blue..something? Nevermind I forgot."

"It's Greenport Rea." Elijah pipes in, shaking his head lightly with a grin on his face. I try my best not to freeze at the name. Why did it have to be Greenport? 

"Right! I was just about to say that." 

"Sure." 

"Mhm. Anyway, do you want to come?" Everyone looks at me expectantly.

I'm so sorry. "I can't." I look at the table. It's for their own good, I keep chanting in my head. "I have some family thing on Saturday."

That's a lie.

I have to be careful, Wyatt is out there somewhere and if he sees me with them he'll see through my lie.

That's if he didn't already.

Shut the fuck up! 

"Oh, okay. It's just us then boys." She is terrible at hiding her emotions. I can tell that she tried but the disappointment was seeping through her words.

And who's fault is that?

Mine.

~

The end of the school day. Finally. I hope they'll stop thinking I'm new by tomorrow, it's really weird.

I step outside and squint my eyes. It's like the sun is sending all her rays at the entrance of the school at once.

None of the guys or Rea were in my last class. Why can't I have a normal life? Hang out with friends. A house with a loving mom and dad. Fuck.

Stop acting like a fucking baby.

I hear a car honk. I need to search for an apartment or house soon. I know I have the money I-

A car honks again. I don't need much, just a bedroom, bathroom and kitchen. Maybe an extra-

The car honks again. I look up. Who in the hell- Nevermind. I forgot Tim was picking me up from school today.

Of course he chose the loudest car they have in their garage. I walk towards him, turning heads as I go.

"Is that her boyfriend?"

"Ugh, Thomas said she's pretty but I don't see it."

Freaking people. What is even the purpose of humans on earth anyway? The only thing we do is destroy it. Sorry not sorry for saying what everyone's been thinking. Well, technically, I was thinking it too bu- I'll shut up now.

Tim closes his door and walks around the car towards me. "Hey babe. Had a fun day?" He softly wraps his arms around me. I bury my head in his chest. 

"They all think I'm new." I feel his body shake from the laugh he's holding in.

"It's not funny, it's annoying." He rests his head on mine. 

"What about your injuries? You brought your painkillers with you right?"

I did. "Yeah." 

"You didn't take them, did you?" I hate how he knows me so well.

"I didn't." 

"Ava.. No matter how much you think you deserve the pain, you really don't." He pulls away to look me in my eyes. I clear my eyes of any emotion that might've been in there two seconds ago and look back.

"Please don't do this again." I pull away from his hands that were holding my shoulders. 

"Let's go." I walk around him to open the door and step inside the car.

He sighs and I close the car door. He walks back to the drivers' side to open the door and step inside the car.

The rest of the drive is silent, Tim glances at me a few times but I just keep looking out of the window.

~

It's Friday, the last day of the week and the last day I'm living with Tim and Santiago. Living with them and Lily is great but I can't keep walking in their way. I found some small houses that I'm going to visit to see if any of them are right for me, and then I'm moving in.

"A!" I turn around when I hear Jason yelling for me. "Hold up!" I slow down and wait for him to reach me. He stops running when he's beside me, panting hard. "Damn, are you practicing for the Olympics or something?!"

I inwardly chuckle. "I wasn't walking that hard. Drama Queen." 

"Who are you calling a Drama Que- No. Not what I wanted to talk about. Can you help me with the chem homework?" He gives me his best puppy-eyes.

"You're like the smartest person I know and-" 

"Sure, I'll help you." He gives me a grateful look. "We can look it over during lunch?" I suggest.

He shakes his head. "I left my chemistry books at home. Maybe after school?" I'm going to view two houses after school, shit.

"I can't after school, are you free on Sunday?" He nods. 

"Sure." 

" What's your address? I can drop by at one?" 

"One is fine but my parents said they wanted me gone on Sunday. Something about spending time with each other. Parents.. am I right?"

"Yeah.. parents..."

"So, can I drop by your house?" 

"Uhm, yeah sure." Fuck, now I have to move in faster than I wanted to. I'll make it work. "I'll text you the address." ..Once I know it.