Summer with the Pine Twins

Dipper Vs. Manliness: Part 1

Grunkle Stan's p.o.v.

I sat at the cash register impatiently tapping my fingers on the desk as Tyler continued to blabber on. "I like to get my Christmas shopping done early, do you have anything in the spirit of the season?" Shoot he asked me a question. "Uh...How about these crystals?" I offer a bowl filled with broken glass from when I broke the window when I threw the tv out it last week. "Haha, that looks like broken glass." "What are you a cop?" I ask putting the bowl back on the counter as Tyler spots something and runs over to it. "Oh, what is that new thing?!"

The door opens and the kids walk in. "Grunkle Stan?" "Can we go to the diner? We're hungry!" The twins ask, (y/n) rolling her eyes with a smile at the two's antics. "Hungry!" The twins start hitting their stomachs together. "Yeah sure, soon as this yahoo makes up his mind," I tell them, pointing to Tyler who was looking at the fur trout. "Do you have this in another animal?" I sigh in annoyance I'm so done with his questions. "I'm fine locking him inside if you are," The kids nod in agreement, so we flipped the open sign to close and shoved a wooden plank through the door, and hopped into the car, driving into town.

 We enter the old log diner and take a seat at a window seat before watching Granny chase a beaver around. "Lazy Susan, there's my little ray of Sunshine, where were you yesterday?" I ask when Lazy Susan walked up and I wiggle my eyebrows, man was she attractive.

"I got hit by a bus," I laugh at her joke. "Hilarious!" "Thank you." "You do split plates right?" I ask after looking at the menu and how pricey everything was $6.99 for pancakes? Yeah, not happening. "Maybe. Wink," She says making her closed eye open before shutting it with her fingers. 

"Great! Well, I'll split a one-fourth of the number 7 plus a free salad dressing for this lady, a free small cup of syrup for the other one, and a small plate of ketchup for the boy," I say lifting my hat, the kids frowning at me. Mabel tugs on my sleeve. "But Grunkle Stan I want pancakes." "With the fancy flour, they use these days? What am I made of money?" I ask, throwing my hands in the air and money pops out of my sleeve. I push it back down.

 "Tap tap," (y/n) rolls her eyes at me as she scoffed. "Yeah, you are. Sorry guys...Looks like he's feeling cheap today." "Aww," Mabel groans when Dipper's head pokes out the booth before he says "Don't worry guys pancakes are on me, I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester," He points to the machine as Mabel and I raise an eyebrow at him "Mainleness tester?" "Beating?" We both ask before bursting out in laughter.

(y/n)'s p.o.v.

Grunkle Stan and Mabel start laughing at Dipper as they continue to mock him. "(y/n) why aren't you laughing? Did you not hear him? He says he's-" He bursts out into more laughter and Dipper asks "What? What's so funny?" 

"Oh no offence Dipper but you're not exactly Manly Manigton," Mabel tells him, trying to contain her laughter but failing miserably. "Hey, I am too Manly Manny or whatever it is you said," Dipper protests and I chime in with "I think he can do it." "Thank you!" "Face the music you two, Dipper's got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes and let's not forget last Tuesday's incident."

I raise an eyebrow as I ask "Last Tuesday's Incident...?" Dipper's cheeks were tainted pink as Grunkle Stan explained what happened. "You were listening to Girly Islandic Pop Sensation Baba?" Mabel ask in disbelief. "N-No! I wasn't- it's not important, look guys I'm plenty masculine, (y/n) thinks I can do it, why can't you? L-Look! You see this chest hair?" 

He pulls down his shirt and we all cover our eyes as the two continue to mock him. "Put it away! Put it away!" "So smooth! My eyes!" "Aw man...You too (y/n)?" Dipper asks pulling up his shirt again and I put my hands down, showing my pink cheeks as I stutter out "N-no offense Dipper but I...I'd rather n-not look at your b-bare chest..." His eyes widen before his face reddens even more as he facepalms, the two across from us still dying of laughter. "Fine family of little faith and (y/n), get ready to eat your words...And a plate of delicious pancakes," Dipper exclaims as he scoots out of the seat and approached the machine, all eyes turning to him.

I follow him over to support him and I hear him mutter "Okay Dipper, time to man handle this man handle," He looks up at the machine and sweats, starting too count under his breath when Grunkle Stan shouts at him.

"Quit stallin'!" He looks at me nervously and I give him a thumbs up with a small smile before he turns his attention to the machine and squeezes the handle. Everyone watches as the light went from wimp to middle aged woman to barely passable to man when Dipper ran out of juice and the light dropped back down to wimp as a pink card slipped out with a baby that read You are a cutie patootie! Ouch, that ain't helpin' his pride. "Oh what? This must be broken, it's totally broken guys, it's probably like a million years old and ran outta steam power or-" He was cut off by Manly Dan who shoved him out of the way and cracked his knuckles. Oh no. "It's rickety man you shouldn't even-"

He barely touched it with his fingertip and the light sped straight to the top breaking the machine, the head at the top hitting the plate of pancakes that was on the side as pancakes flew onto everyone's plates. "Yes! Pancakes for everyone!" Grunkle Stan and Mabel start laughing at Dipper again as a pancake falls on his head as he mutters "I need to get some chest hair and fast."

 He runs out of the diner, tripping over a beaver on the way out, causing the two to laugh harder. "Yeesh, how am I related to that?" Grunkle Stan asks and I glare. "Would it kill you two to be nice to him?" "What do you mean?" Mabel asks "You constantly pick on him, I understand he's family and that's what you do but you're hurting his self-esteem, that's going to far. What next? You two gonna pick on me for being shy? A wallflower? Quiet?" They blink in confusion and I throw my hands up in the air and walk out in anger.

Mabel's p.o.v.

"What's with her?" Grunkle Stan asks crossing his arms. "Come on Grunkle Stan isn't it obvious that she has a crush on Dipper? No one would stand up for him like that if they didn't," I explain and he gags, causing me to state "I'm sure deep brown you have a soft side too." "Nothin' in here except a cold dark empty soul," He says tapping his heart with a fist when Lazy Susan walks up with our order. "Food!" "Thanks there Sugar Pot- I mean Honey Wasp- Kitten Baby- B-baby Cow," I watch Grunkle Stan stutter as Lazy Susan walks off with a laugh. "What was that about?" I quickly ask. 

"Nothing. I don't wanna talk about it. Talk about what? Why's this table wet?" He stutters out again, obviously trying to dodge the question. Hmmm. "Wait just a second, I think I got an idea happening, here" I start rubbing my forehead to see if it'll come to me quicker. "You..." "No." "And her..." "Stop it!" It hits me, Grunkle Stan has a crush on Lazy Susan! I squeal. "Oh boy..." I start shaking him as I exclaim "You have a thing for Lazy Susan! You do have a soft side!"

 A finger is jammed to my lips as Grunkle Stan tells me "Keep it down will ya?! Alright I admit ok, it would be nice if she liked me but I've been outta the game so long I wouldn't know where to start! I mean look at her, she's so classy."

Author: My brother is visiting for a while so be prepared for possible no chapter today notifications on my journal/ conversations page.