From me to you

Seventeen

    It felt nice to talk with Katy again. Not just a simple 'are you ok?' like a full on conversation. I learned that his name is Max Louis and that he actually plays rugby with Alex, and of course Austin... Alex and Max finished their practice and made their way over to us.

"Hey!" Alex said giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"So guess what we just learned!" Max said.

"What?" I asked egger to know.

"No, no, you have to guess." Alex said.

"Can't you just tell us?" I said

    After a while the boys finally gave in and told us that they had a tournament outside of school on the weekend and that we could come on the bus with them! At first I was excited but the more I thought about it the more I worried. I would be on a bus with my fake boyfriend, my best friend and her -almost- boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend and his girlfriend... that's gonna be good.

~9 pm~

    It was now 9 at night and I was getting a glass of water in the kitchen. Everyone was in their room either doing homework or getting ready for school the next day. While I drank my beverage I went on social media and saw a video. A video of Austin at a party making out with Sadie. You could see that they were both under the influence, I don't know I just didn't like it. I miss him. No! I can't, he cheated on me and I need to get over that.

    Just as I clicked of the video the one and only Austin Huddleston came in. We didn't speak for a bit, we didn't even make eye contact. I could feel his eyes on me but when I looked up he looked away. He was the one who broke the silence.

"Are you going with Alex to the game." Still not looking at me.

"Yea I am. I'm assuming you are going with Sadie." I said looking down at my empty glass.

"Yes." We stopped talking for a couple of second. "Do you think it's going to be a problem? All of us on the same bus for four hours." He said finally looking at me.

"I'd like to think we can have human decency and not get at each other's throat for four hours." I said looking back at him.

    He let out a small laugh and smirked. He was now even closer to me. I could feel his warm familiar breath on my face.

"Remember the night we snuck out of here at midnight and made cookies in the cafeteria?" He said moving his hand closer to mine on the table.

"And we made the biggest mess and the tables." I said trying to hide my mediocre smile.

"Then dance while cleaning it up." We both said at the same time. We looked at each other, both trying to make out the other facial expression. We both went silence after that.

"Why did you to it?" I said referring to the cheating incident a minute later.

"I don't know, it just happened. I regret it every second of every day." He looked at me right in the eyes. "Why didn't you go off on me. You had every right to you know?"

    I stayed silence taking all he said in. He said it just kinda happened. He did it two times, both of them just happened. Pathetic... I would still forgive him at any moment. I miss him.

"I guess I just love you to much to be mad at you." I said looking at our hands who were now on top of each other.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't fix everything." I said getting up and going to my room.

    Once I reached my room I closed the door and slid down to sit on the floor. Face in my hands, knees tucked in. I let out a soft cry. He said he's sorry yet he's still with her. He says he's sorry yet he gave up on me. He says he's sorry yet he doesn't fight for me, he gave up on us.

    For whatever reason I decided to read his diary again. It's the only thing that makes me feel remotely close to him again. Learning about his traumatic childhood, his parents. It felt familiar.

    August 17,
    9 years old.
    Dad and I went in the car and drove to some place dad calls the court. I remember the text from mom to dad saying 'the court day is     Friday don't be late.' Does that mean their getting back together? I hope so. I haven't seen mom in almost a week. I haven't seen that     much too. He's always on calls or in his bedroom. A lady always comes at night and comforts my dad. It's nice of her to do so. We arrive     and I jumped right in mommy's arms. I missed her hugs. She told me to go see grandma and that she would come see me in a hour or     so. I did as I were told. Grandma drove me to some big house just outside the city. She said it was my mom's new home.
    Austin

    August 18,
    9 years old.
    Yesterday mom never came back from court. Neither did dad. Grandma said they were never coming back and they were in a better     place now. I saw on the news that there was a shooting in front of the court were mommy and daddy were. I don't know what that     means but grandma started to cry when she saw it.
    Austin

    September 20.
    9 years old.
    Today was my mom and dad funeral. They had a funeral together since that's what they always wanted. Grandma said even tho they     were divorced they still loved each other very much. The ceremony was sad. There was a lot of people. Some people that I didn't even     know came up to me and said how sorry they were. Everyone was crying.
    Austin

    I closed the book so fast. I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't keep reading or even keep it, I had to give it back to Austin.