FINDERS KEEPERS (complete)

Thirty Seven

"what...what do you mean?" i can feel my thought burning, i try so hard not to cry. he doesnt want you ora, he doesnt, you made a fool of yourself.
he tries to grab my hand but i snatch it very fast.
"excuse me" i stand up and walk upstairs, i hear him calling my name but i say nothing. i  dont even want to talk or see him right now.
i strip naked and wear my pajamas and get in bed, i dont even bother removing my make-up.
as hard as i try to not succumb to tears, i cant help shedding a few. if he loves me as he claims, why does he want a divorce, it just doesnt make sense, before i can comprehend my actions, i'm out of bed and bedroom door and heading straight outside where i find him looking lost drinking whatever it is that hes drinking.

"do you?" i ask, catching him off guard.
his head snappes to my direction,he has bloodshot eyes, "huh?" he asks.
"do you, love me i mean" he looks at me and rubbs his face.
"ora lets not make this any harder than it has to be okay"
he still hasnt answered me. he wont answer me clearly and quite frankly, i dont think i actually want to know the answer.
"okay, i'll be out here first thing tommorow morning "
"ora come on, thats not what i said" he stands up and stumbles , clearly he's had too much to drink in such a short time.
"no, it's what i'm saying "  i wrap my hands around me and slowly step away. i bit the inside of my lip to stop myself from crying. i need to be a big girl, i knew such a day would come, i just didnt think it would be this soon.

the next morning it seemed like all the wight of the world fell on me, felt like a dark cloud hovering over me.  i woke up and went to make myself a cup of coffee, i sure as hell going to need it and definetly more than just one.
"you going to burn yourself " i snap my head and come face to face with the person behind my mesary, i feel my hand burn and i quickly snatch it and put it under cold water.
i didnt notice that i zoned out, even the burn is not as painul as the ache in my chest.
he's all dressed ready for a day in the office, i try as hard as i can to not look at his face, the face that i'm now fond of, the face that i have been dreaming of a happily ever with.
with one last exhale, i pour the coffee in two to-go mugs and hand him one, exactly the way he likes it.
"thanks" he says, his hand brushes mine when he takes it, i pretend like i didnt feel the electric sparks.
i take my coat and walk out but...i stop on my tracks when  hear the crap that comes out of his mouth.
"excuse me" i turn around and look at him.
"Geet is alive " i chuckle and walk further in and put the coffee on the table, along with the coat and my handbag.
"you are unbelievable you know that"
"i'm being for real, she... she came to my office, shes alive and well"
"fuck you, find a good damn reason to want a divorce , it's not like i said i wont sign the god damn papers mxm"
i take my things and walk out banging the door in the process, what a pathetic thing to say, he need another excuse because that one wont work. my sister is dead for fuck sake. that was a low blow, even for him.

as if mother nature is out to get me for a crime i know nothing of, i got a punture in the middle of the highway. i sat inside the car, crying my eyeballs out in the middle of nowhere. confused, hurt i continue to cry.
then theres a knock on my window. i turn to look but my vision is blurry from all the crying, i cant really tell who it is, but i roll my window down anyway.
"oratilwe?" the person asks. he cant pronouse my name perfectly. i rub my eys to clear my eyes.
it's that guy, that Alexandre guy. panic starts to rise but i think he saw that because he quickly pulled his arms up.
"i'm not going to hurt you, i wont do anything, i promise "  sense go out the window and i rest my my head on the headrest.
"you look just like him" he looks at me confused.
"my dad i mean" he loooks at me and smiles.
"well, i mean we were twins you know" he says, making me chuckle.
i dont have a clear memory of my parents, let alone my father, but i can see the similaries between him and Geet, they are more prominet on them than us.
"i thought you didnt know me" i look at him and sigh.
"at first yes, it has been long since... well you know " i say.
he nods his head in understanding. he sits with me in the car and we continue to talk.
i dont know why i'm not making a beline for my life, because this man right here is very dangerous. sure he might be my uncle, but i dont know him that much, no, let me refrase. i dont know him at all.

my phone rings startling me. it's kagiso. i look at it and i can feel my eyes getting teary again.
"are you not going to answer that ?" he eyes my phone, i shake my head no.
"why?" i look at him but words fail me so i shrugg.

the phone rings again and this time, Alexandre forces me to answer it because it might be important.

i answer it and place it on my ear, saying nothing.
"ora" he says after a heart beat. i keep quite as i feel tears blurring my vision.
"ora are you okay?the insurance company called, are... are you stuck ?"
i nod my head as if he can see me.
"what is it, talk to me please" the despiration on his tone made me speak up.
"ff… Flat tire" I say, between sobs.
I hear him sigh and say okay he's coming to get me.

"well. I guess that's my cue, I need to get going. Be safe okay?" He holds my hand and squeezes it.
"take care" I say back.
Instead of leaving immediately, he sits in his car until Kagisos' car approaches.
He's with someone on the passenger seat. A woman. I feel my heart beating frantically like it's going to explode right out of my chest.