Her Secret Urges - Sombre nights - Book 1

Chapter 19 - Worrying about Alek

"Tell me quickly, how big was the ring he had chosen for me?" Jane whispered to Daniela.

"You have no idea! It was too much! There was no way you were going to like that or wear that every day to work," Daniela laughed.

"I should have known you intervened! I was surprised when I saw this ring, knowing how over the top he is," Jane laughed.

"Exactly! So, I asked him if he wanted to give you a ring you were going to wear every day or a ring you were going to have to leave at home in the safe."

"Well put," Jane smiled at Daniela.

"Yes, that's why he changed his mind. You have a good man there," Daniela smiled.

"Yes..." Jane whispered, suddenly remembering her feelings for another good man. Daniela was looking at her suspiciously, so Jane added quickly. "As do you!"

"I most certainly do," Daniela agreed, looking at Luis play with their kids. "Have you talked about children? Cain looks quite ready," Daniela motioned at Cain as he had the twins on his lap, reading a children's book.

"He wants to try already, but I'd rather wait after the wedding," Jane explained.

"Have you told him about your first miscarriage yet?" Daniela asked, lowering her voice. Even if Daniela had never met Alek in person, she knew everything about that time in Jane's life.

"Not yet, but I should tell him soon, before we start trying," Jane sighed, and I need to tell him so much more about that first miscarriage, she thought.

"It will be alright," Daniela said, interpreting Jane's sigh as fear of another miscarriage.

"Yes, indeed," Jane tried to smile at her friend.

After finishing up in the kitchen, Jane spent some time with the boys but too soon, it was time to leave. After all, 11pm was already late to put to bed four children under the age of six on a weekday. They hugged and kissed the boys and promised to visit soon again.

"Thank you very much for a lovely evening," Jane said, hugging Daniela and Luis.

"Thank you for coming and congratulations again," Daniela replied.

"Next time at our place," Cain said. "Maybe a lunch during the weekend, so the boys can use the swimming pool."

"That would be great," Luis said.

"Bye," Jane said with a wave.

Back in the car on their way home, Jane sighed happily as she lay her head on Cain's shoulder. "It was a lovely evening!"

"Yes," Cain agreed, "I love those boys! They grow up so fast."

"They're good boys!"

"Can't wait to have some of that in our house," Cain said, kissing her cheek.

"Yes," Jane smiled at him.

"So, after the wedding?" Cain inquired.

"Yes, we can start trying after the wedding," Jane replied, hiding her guilt as well as she could.

"Good," Cain was smiling from ear to ear. "Can't wait!"

The elevator doors opened, and they walked into the penthouse. The living room looked empty, but as they walked past the lobby, she heard some noise, so Alek must be home somewhere. The door to the game room was slightly ajar and Cain took them there.

"Alek's home," Cain said happily, walking into the game room. Jane followed as she could not find an excuse not to.

"Hi, brother," Cain greeted Alek. "How was your evening?"

"Good," Alek replied, barely turning his head toward them, apparently very concentrated on his game.

"No escapades tonight?" Cain asked laughing.

"I felt like staying home tonight."

"That's good! Up for a game?" Cain asked Jane.

"I... erm..."

"She's probably tired," Alek interjected without looking at her.

Jane felt like denying it, just so she would not agree with him, but she could not stay in the game room with him and Cain, considering that the last time she had been in the game room with Alek, she had given him a blowjob. "Yes, it's late already. I'd rather go to bed."

"Let me go with you. I'll change into something more comfortable. I'll be right back," Cain told Alek.

"As you wish," Alek replied, his eyes still glued to the TV.

Jane turned around and left without saying another word. Cain followed her out, and as soon as they were up in their bedroom and out of earshot, he spoke again. "Sorry I have to leave you alone, babe. I just don't like the mood Alek has been in for the last two days and there is just too much alcohol in this house to leave him alone. I need to find out what's going on and if he has talked to Duncan."

"Duncan?" Jane asked.

"His sponsor."

"Oh... He's been in a bad mood?" Jane asked, turning her back to Cain as she took off her coat.

"I don't know, but he's pissed! I have no idea what has happened, but he has barely said two words to me since he came back and it just reminds me of how it used to be before when he was using, so I need to stay with him and make sure he's OK. You understand right?"

"Of course, babe," she said, kissing him on the mouth. "Go and take care of him." One of us should, she thought, feeling terrible. Cain changed into a pair of sweatpants that were so elegant he looked like he had changed into another suit. He was so posh!

"I'll join you as soon as I can. Sleep well, babe," Cain said, and with a final kiss, he walked out.

Jane sat on their bed, feeling like the worst person in the world. She felt terrible for cheating and lying to Cain; he did not deserve that! But she also felt horrible for the pain she had caused Alek. If she made him relapse after three years of sobriety, she would never forgive herself. But what could she do? She still loved them both and was unable to choose between them. What other choice did she have but push Alek out of her life and resume her relationship with Cain? It was the right choice, she reminded herself. She just wished she would not destroy Alek in the process. Maybe they could find a way to be friends and that way, she could still be in his life. Hopefully, that might be enough to keep him from falling back into his old habits.

Yes, she thought, that would be the best outcome they could hope for. Tomorrow, she would find a moment to tell him that and hopefully that might take some of the pain away.

Having made up her mind, she changed into a camisole, brushed her teeth, took her pill, and went to sleep.