part twenty

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Weiss: every time I'm confronted with a problem and feel desperate and helpless, I look at a picture of all of us together.

Group: awww–

Weiss: and I tell myself, if I can survive living with those dumbass clowns, it means I can handle every problem.

Group:

--

Winter: you three, explain right now!

Yang: it was Oscar.

Jaune: it was Oscar.

Ren: it was Oscar.

Oscar:

Oscar: ...fuck.

--

Blake: *bends down on one knee*

Yang: OH MY GOSH, IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.

Blake: *ties shoelaces*

Yang: SHE FINALLY STOPPED WEARING FUCKING CROCS.

--

Yang: aww, some child drew a funny looking giraffe!

Weiss: there aren't any children here.

Blake, clenching her jaw: it's an alpaca.

--

Blake: have you ever tried honey?

Yang: tried what?

Blake: honey.

Yang: yes?

Blake:

--

Salem: Wow. Once again, I am under attack simply because I have taken the lives of thousands of innocent people. How inconsiderate of you.

--

Blake: *traps a wasp under a cup*

Yang: *appears and sets down 2 more cups*

Blake: No...

Yang: *starts to shuffle them*

--

Blake, seductively: Tell me your wildest fantasy.

Yang: I'm on the Wheel of Fortune, and I spin it so hard it lights on fire.

Blake: No, I meant like-

Yang: Everyone claps.

--

Yang: Look, Weiss, I know we don't get along.

Weiss: [scoffs] Yeah we sure as fuck don't.

Yang: Shut up. I brought you a gift as a peace offering.

Weiss: What is it?

Yang: [handing it to her] Here, it's a bath bomb. You just throw it into the bath when you need to relax.

Weiss:

Weiss: Yang, this is a toaster.

--

Ruby, exhausted: [opens up a cereal box]

Ruby: [grabs a bowl]

Ruby: [opens up milk]

Ruby: [pours milk into their hand]

Blake, watching from the side: Hey, uh, Ruby-

Ruby: No, no give me a sec. I know something is wrong. Just give me a sec, I'll figure it out. Just wait a sec

--

Yang: Ruby?

Ruby: *sigh* Weiss used to call me Ruby.

Yang: because it's your fucking name.

--

Weiss, preparing the group for a photo in the snow: you guys, say colorado-

Ruby, skiing by: I'M A GIRAFFE!

--

Ruby: is there anyone here who's actually straight?

Blake: *raises hand*

Yang: *puts Blake's hand down*

--

Yang: I never know what to say on funerals.

Blake: just say "sorry for your loss", then move on.

[later at a funeral]

Yang: I'm sorry for your loss, move on.

--

Blake: *phone starts ringing*

Weiss, looking to see who's calling: Lmao, you still call your dad "daddy"?

Blake, answering the phone and making direct eye contact with Weiss: Hello Yang.

Weiss: *chokes on drink*

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